Page 103 of All The Ways to Miss You

“I mean, what if you hate each other now?” Shelby says. “Maybe you’ll get to know her and she sucks, and she gets to know you and thinks you suck, and you’ve gone and ruined her life again by telling her you dated before and you were in love. You know what I mean? What I’m saying is, it’s already too late to admit you know her, anyway.”

As soon as she says this, I know it’s true. A normal person would have greeted her like they knew her from the instant they saw her. I didn’t have a chance to do that because Linden blindsided me while I was half-asleep. Instead, I did as he told me to do because he had already acted as though he didn’t know her in their interviews. Maybe she wouldn’t have accepted the job in Chicago if she knew the truth. In fact, I’m positive she wouldn’t have, based on our conversation earlier today. What did she say? That she needed a fresh start away from everyone. A reboot?

“You’re right. I’ve already fucked this up before I started.” I should have followed my gut instinct to hug her and tell her I missed her when she appeared at my front door. Even if she would have turned around and left after, I would have done what was right. I would have done what I couldn’t before.

“Yep. But that’s your own fault for being a dickhead and being the brother of a dickhead. Speaking of, where is Linden these days? Haven’t you told him I’m ready for him to ask me out?”

“Never happening. You know he still loves Viv.”

“Aren’t they separated or something?”

“You know those two. One minute they’re on, the next they’re off. It’s like fighting fuels their fucking.”

“What is it with you Wade boys? It’s like once you mate, you’re done for life.”

“Maybe loyalty’s our thing.”

“I think stupidity’s your thing. That’s what you’re better at.”

I catch a glimpse of the time. Two a.m. I stand and yawn, ready for bed. “You staying?”

Shelby’s already snoring, her mouth wide, drool pooling at one corner of her mouth. When did she put on her silk bonnet? I grab a blanket from the closet and toss it over her, then flip off the lights.

I pause at Cait’s room. Scanning the contents, I decide to do something desperate, something I know in my heart is wrong.

I lock the room, like I’m locking up our past.

I can’t stand the thought of losing her again, even if it means I only say hello to her in passing. I convince myself this is the right thing to do.

She wants a fresh start, and I’ll make sure she gets it.

forty-nine

At nine a.m., my cell rings. When my eyes focus, I see the call is from a Maryland number. Cait.

I juggle the phone before swiping the face to answer. “Hello?” I say, sitting up quickly, faking alertness.

“Hi, um, Evan?”

“Yep. Yes.”

“This is Cait. Did I wake you?”

“Nope. What’s up?” I wipe sleep crud from my eyes.

“Sorry to bother you on a Saturday, but I nearly froze last night. The heater isn’t working. Any chance you can have someone look at it today?”

“No problem. I’ll be up in a few.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.”

For the second morning in a row, I shower and dress with lighting speed. As I’m about to head out the door, Shelby stirs on the couch. In my excitement, I forgot she was here.

“Where are you going? I need breakfast. I was thinking omelets and fresh rosemary potatoes.” She stretches.

I throw a twenty-dollar bill on her face. “Breakfast is on me. Eggscellence Café is down the street. Lock up when you leave.”

“Evan!” she yells as I exit. Even with the front door closed, her rants follow me up the stairs.