“Even after all that practicing, Nourah, I’m still nervous.” He laughed quietly. “I love you.”
My eyes burned.
“Carl… I—”
“No. Let me finish… I love you, Nourah. I would never cheat on you. I would never intentionally hurt you, and I damn sure wouldn’t do anything that could jeopardize this relationship…you’re the only woman I want to be with,” he continued. “You’re the person I want to come home to. You’re who I want to build with. I want us to buy a house. I want to have kids with you. I want family vacations and arguments over dumb things and you taking over every closet in the house, even though you’ll swear you don’t have enough clothes.”
A tear slipped down my cheek. “Oh my God,” I whispered.
I stepped closer, my eyes dropping to the ring again.
His eyes locked on mine. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody. You’re my best friend.”
Behind Carl’s face, PB’s flashed through my mind.
His lips against mine and the look in his eyes…
Fuck.
Carl smiled softly. “Nourah Marcell…” He took one more breath. “Will you marry me?”
The crazy thing was, if anyone had told me this exact moment would be happening, I’d have said they were a liar. Because never did I imagine Carl proposing to me while I stood there thinking about another man.
Then, all of a sudden, I was snatched back to reality.
“Nourah.”
“Hmm?”
“Did you hear me?”
“Uh… what did you say?” I blinked a few times, trying to process what was happening, then wiped the tears from my face.
He chuckled nervously. “Uh, I’m kind of asking you to marry me right now, in case you haven’t noticed,” he said in that cheesy, nerdy voice of his.
I chuckled too, that same nervousness sitting in my laugh, and slowly pulled my hand out of his. Did I want to just burst out and tell him I’d kissed another man? Yes. But instead, I said, “Listen. It’s not that I don’t want to marry you. But this is a lot, because in my mind, we were broken up. I was beyond hurt by what I heard, and now… this?”
He put the ring away and stood up, and I could see the sadness settle into his whole face. “So, you’re saying no?”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose for a second, eyes closed. Then I looked at him. “I’m just really confused right now, Carl, because you could’ve just come right out and said this days ago. It would’ve made a big difference.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Wow, I didn’t expect to get rejected… Before I left for my trip, we were happy.”
“Don’t look at it like that, please. I’m not rejecting you. I just need a moment to take all of this in, you know? Imagine if the tables were turned. I wouldn’t want to just spring this on you, especially after you thought you heard me in the background with another man.”
I knew way more about Carl, but PB…
We weren’t dating, but we were getting to know each other. I enjoyed everything about him. He was smart, funny, handsome, and somebody I could see myself with.
And it wasn’t that I couldn’t see myself with Carl, because I still could. But I didn’t know if I fully believed him either. He could’ve taken all that time to concoct that story just to pop up here today and propose. I’d be a fool to just say yes right off the bat without knowing if he was being truthful.
His eyes started glistening, so I put my hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m not okay. But it’s cool.”
He turned and started walking down the stairs away from me, and I followed him. “Where are you going?”
“You said you need some time, so I’m gonna give you that time. Maybe then you’ll tell me what’s really going on.”