Page 163 of Almost Ours

“Oh, yeah?” He lights the cigarette. “Which one would I be?”

I give him a long once-over. “Dopey.”

Cam pulls the cigarette from his mouth. “Fuck off.”

“Who do you think you’d be?”

“Whatever the best-looking one is.”

“That isn’t a dwarf.”

He blows smoke away from me, shaking his head. “And you expect me to believe you’re fine when you’re being this dour?”

“Dour? What is this, the eighteenth century?” I point at the cigarette. “Can I have some?”

“Only if you don’t tell O. He’s a right uptight bastard about these things.”

Scoffing, I roll my eyes. “What’s new?”

He gives me a sideways look, then passes it over. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I take a long pull. “Not really.”

“Does it have anything to do with Josh and the fact he’s knocking around with his brother’s ex?”

Nearly choking on the smoke, I cough sharply. “You saw them turn up together too?” It felt like a bucket of ice had been thrown over me when they walked in. Bonnie looked dressed for the party. Josh didn’t. He was in jeans and a dark green T-shirt, all tense and out of place. This isn’t even his sort of thing, so I’ve no idea why the hell he’s here. Or, more specifically, why he’s turned up with her. Was it to really cement that I’m not what he wants?

“Yeah, I saw them come in.” Cam takes the cigarette back from me. “Which is fucking weird, because he’s always seemed to hate her.” He frowns. “And now you two aren’t talking. O keeps saying she was James’s ex, but…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know. There’s something off about the whole thing.”

People always assume Cam is thick because he spends most of his time acting like a complete idiot, but he’s studying Maths and Physics at Lincoln Uni and has been disgustingly clever for as long as I can remember. He was always top of our year, top of every class and in all the top sets. But he takes nothing seriously.

Most of the time, anyway.

I sigh heavily. “I’m not going to tell you about it, Cam.”

“So there is something going on there, then?” He takes another drag. “The whole will-they-won’t-they thing with you and Josh is over?”

“There was never a will-they-won’t-they thing.”

“Yes, there was.” He watches me keenly, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth. “Look, Rubes.” Cam stubs the cigarette out, then turns sideways on the bench, placing one leg either side of it and scooting so close our knees press together. “You can either tell me what’s going on so we don’t have a repeat of the fucking disaster that was 2012, or I can go inside and ask Josh myself.”

“There is nothing to ask!”

“I swear to God, mate. I was there last time you tried keeping shit to yourself. I was there for the aftermath too, and I’m not doing it again.” His eyes stay on mine. Blue on hazel. “So you better tell me. I’m not Oscar. I’m not gonna be a little pansy about it and make everything worse. I’ll take it to the grave if I have to. But you need to talk, Rubes. So talk to me.”

I look away from him, towards the back door where people keep coming in and out of Dave’s kitchen with drinks in their hands, laughing like none of them have ever had anything worse to worry about than whether there’s enough vodka left. “It’s really nothing.”

“Yeah, well.” Cam leans closer. “You nearly died last time, so forgive me for not wanting to fuck about with it.”

My temper flares. “I’m not going to do anything. For God’s sake. I’m allowed to have a bad day.”

“Sure you are. Doesn’t mean you can’t tell me all about it.” He reaches forward and takes both my hands in his. “What happened?”

I look out at the garden. It’s nice. Not big or anything but looked after. The grass is all neat and there’s a tiny pond at the back with a teeny waterfall, the water trickling leisurely down. “I fell in love with him.”

Cam pushes my palms together and starts rubbing them, trying to warm my hands back up. “With Josh?”

“Yeah.” I swallow. “And he’s in love with her.”