Page 139 of Almost Ours

“Please don’t rush me. I’ll panic.”

“Nine.”

“Josh!”

“Eight.”

“Alright!” I shout, the question bursting out of me. “Why do you act like your ex completely wrecks you?”

All the amusement vanishes from him straight away, and he falls back into his seat, turning his head to look out of the window and going scarily still.

I instantly want to tell him he doesn’t have to answer even though that defeats the point of the whole game.

He sighs. “That’s what you want to know?”

“I think so?”

A few cars move past in the opposite direction, headlights flashing across the windscreen, and I can practically feel him retreating beside me even though he hasn’t moved an inch. Crystalised by The xx is softly wafting from the radio, and it feels oddly apt.

There’s a really long time before he whispers, “Because she did wreck me.”

I glance his way, heart beginning to thump in my chest. “By leaving you?”

He shakes his head. “By cheating on me. In a really fucking brutal, life-altering way.”

I keep my eyes on the road. “Can I ask one tiny follow-up that isn’t really a follow-up?”

“No.”

“Josh.”

“You had one question.”

“I know, but your answer created more.”

“Sorry, it’s all you’re getting.”

I can’t help myself. “Do you want to get back with her? If she hadn’t of cheated, would you still be with her? Do you miss her?”

“Rubes,” he breathes my name out in one long exhale, looking pissed off but not closed off. “If I’m really honest with you, are you going to hear me out?”

“Yeah.”

“You won’t get all neurotic and upset?”

I worry my lip. “I can try?”

He chews it over before rolling his eyes and giving me the truth. “I do not want my ex-girlfriend back. I don’t think we’d still be together now even if none of that shit had happened. And I miss the girl who was my friend before she ever became my girlfriend.”

I slowly start to smile, he might not have said much but opened up. He told me of his own free will. “Do you want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Ruby!”

I shoot him a wink. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“You are something else.”

“And for some insane reason you like me.”