Page 22 of The Hornet’s Hucow Pet

Before I can gasp in a lungful of water, Zyren steadies me, keeping my head pressed to his chest. It rises and falls under my cheek, and even as the pain overwhelms my conscious mind, my lungs obey him, taking deep breaths.

The searing gradually fades, returning to my usual ache, which the warmth eases.

“Is that the worst of it?” I ask quietly.

“That’s the beginning of it.”

“Shit.”

Zyren’s voice is steady, but I notice the tension in his jaw, the furrow in his brow.

I raise my fingers to his face. “You can feel it too?”

“Some of it,” he says, offering a wry smile. “Your consciousness is very strong.”

Horror ripples through me. “I’m torturing y⁠—”

His grip, hot from the water, closes over my whole face. “Shh. Enough of that.”

My thoughts soften and dissolve.

“Don’t worry about me,” he commands.

I float there for a few precious minutes until the next wave of pain tears through me. Zyren keeps me breathing. It’s enough for me to find the mantra that always gets me through the worst of it.

This will pass. This will pass. This will pass.

When it eases, I look for a topic to distract my mind from anticipating the next terrible wave.

“You really aren’t like any ICSS doctors, I’ll give you that.”

“Oh?”

“None of them have fingered me to climax, so…”

He lets out an amused exhale. “Ah.”

“And look, I… I know why you can only help me so much with the pain. I know it’s all in my head. So you don’t have to find some delicate way to say that.”

“All in your head? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” His expression is as serious as his tone.

“Maybe it didn’t translate. I just mean… like, nerve sensitization. Expectations. It’s a… psychiatric problem. I get it.”

Zyren only looks more incredulous. “That’s what they’ve been telling you? The ICSS doctors?”

I suddenly shrink, hesitant. “Some of them.”

Zyren clicks his tongue. “It’s not all in your head.”

My voice is oddly meek. “Well, but most pain is created in the brain…”

“You might as well say that hunger is all in your head or vision is all in your head at that point. Of course the brain is highly involved—it’s highly involved in everything. You have a nervous system injury. Think of it like how scar tissue can interfere with joint movement. Just because it’s chronic doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

“Huh. So you mean to tell me I didn’t invent the pain because I love taking painkillers so much?”

Anger glints behind Zyren’s eyes. “What a preposterous suggestion.”

“Yeah, I was always a little skeptical of that one.”