Page 74 of Made Better Together

“God, you’re all so weak. Just like your father.”

My eyes blink open. Mom is hovering over me, in her pajamas.

I tilt my head to my nightstand. The clock says 4:11 a.m. What the hell?

She shakes my shoulder. “Get up, Connor. If I’m up, you’re up.”

Finally, I croak out a response.

“Mom, I need sleep…”

I jerk up in my bed, inhaling deeply. My heart’s racing, and it takes a few seconds to remember where I am.

You’re safe. You’re in Orlando, at Rawley’s place. Not at her house. Not in Alabama.

Fuck.

I haven’t had a dream like that in four years, when I first got help.

21

EDEN

TWO DAYS AGO, LATE IN THE WAVES GAME

UGH, a dinner date invite from Jake? I put away my phone, needing to consider my options. He’s perfectly nice, but there’s no sizzle. No goose bumps.

Maybe there would be if you spent more time with him, though?

I hate situations like this. I don’t want to lead him on…but who knows what could happen? I don’t want to make the wrong choice.

In the meantime, Connor’s weird for the last part of the game. Standoffish? Maybe that’s not the right word because it also seems like he lost his confidence.

Either way, it’s back to hot-and-cold Connor. Story of our dynamic since the meeting with Milo.

I can’t read his mind, and he’s not communicating whatever is causing him to switch up his moods. It’s irritating. I know he has to keep a boundary between us because of his job, but he can at least stay even-keeled? Friendly?

Friendly isn’t what you want, though. What either of you want it appears.

Hushing the voice in my mind—there’s no point to thoughts like that—I’m relieved to see Bree in our living room when I get home. I really need to talk to her about all of this.

“Thank God you’re home because⁠—”

I’m interrupted by the flush of he toilet and in walks Alondra from the bathroom. She must be here to hang out with Bree.

“Hey Cap, how’s it going?”

“Hey there, what are you two up to?”

“We’re finishing up some reading for our Black American Literature class, and then we’re going to watch a Passion Peninsula episode.”

“Wild swing in topics there,” I tease, and they giggle.

I guess no chat with Bree is happening now. I’m uncomfortable talking about either Connor or Jake in front of anyone else. Especially not someone on the team, showing my indecisiveness when I’m supposed to be the leader.

I join them for the Passion Peninsula episode, and it’s ridiculously on-point for my own situation. A woman named Kyra has to choose between a safe, sweet guy, Jason, and a mysterious, broody guy, Tanner. During the recoupling, she has us on our toes.

“I am choosing the person who makes me feel deeply, who keeps me thinking, who makes me tingle, and who I find very sexy. I can’t wait to get to know him better. I choose Tanner.”