Page 49 of Grief & Glitter

Then it rang. Dad.

I grabbed it. “Is he okay?”

There was noise behind him, voices, a door, something metallic hitting something else.

“Dad?”

“He’s alive.”

My knees went. Ryan caught me before I hit the floor. “What happened?”

“He’s… alive,” Dad said again, and his voice broke on the second word.

“What happened?”

“I found him.”

“Found him how?”

Dad took a breath. “Noah… a knife… tried… to kill himself.”

Everything stopped: the room, Ryan, me, all of it.

“No.”

“Paramedics are here. He’s alive. They’re taking him to Sparrow.”

“No.”

“Gideon.”

“No.”

I couldn’t get another word out. My brother tried to kill himself. Noah, who spent ten years angry with me. Noah, who wouldn’t answer my calls, who looked straight through me at family gatherings until I’d stopped going, and who spent years asking why I couldn’t save our brother. “I’m coming home.”

“Gideon—”

“I’m coming home.”

Dad didn’t argue this time. “I’ll text you when I know more.”

I ended the call. Ryan was already kneeling in front of me. I didn’t remember getting onto the floor.

“I’m going with you,” he said.

“You don’t have to.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know how long⁠—”

“Gideon.”

I looked at him.

“I’m going with you.”

I nodded because I couldn’t work out how to do any of this alone.