Page 66 of Broken As Puck

“And then what happened?”

I jabbed a chopstick at her. “We were nearly caught.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”

“Luckily, we weren’t. He asked what it meant, I said I didn’t know, and then he left and I snuck out before anyone noticed, ordered too much sushi, and waited for you.”

“Okay.” She sipped her wine thoughtfully. “So, now that you’ve had a bit more time to think, how do you feel about it?”

I closed my eyes briefly. “I don’t know.”

“That’s fine,” she assured me.

We were quiet for a long moment, both of us eating our sushi as we contemplated my stupidity.

“I’m worried it was a mistake,” I said eventually. “I’m scared that if I let anything else happen, he’ll hurt me again.”

She nodded. “That’s fair. You have a legitimate reason to worry. He acted like a complete jerk once already.”

My shoulders eased, as if just the acknowledgment that I had a valid point lifted a little weight from them. When you’d been hurt before, it was hard to know what level of concern was normal and what was driven by irrational fear.

“He seems to really be trying,” I added, picking up another piece of the roll. “I want to be careful, but I don’t want to hurt him either. I don’t want to use him or give him false hope. I feel a little guilty that I didn’t, uh, reciprocate.”

She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t always have to be tit for tat, and you know it.”

I did, but the situation still felt unbalanced.

She lifted her wineglass and motioned at me. “He hurt you once, and I don’t want that to happen again. In fact, if it does, I might just have to hunt him down and give him the ass-kicking I should have delivered years ago.”

I paused, the roll hovering near my mouth. “I don’t want it to happen again either. Luckily, I’m smarter now.”

Right?

I continued eating but inwardly mulled over Matt’s recent behavior. He’d been championing me to his teammates, and he’d defended me from at least a couple of pointed remarks. Perhaps I was naïve, but that didn’t seem like the actions of someone so averse to conflict that he was willing to allow me to be hurt.

But I’d trusted him once before, and he’d proven he was just like everyone else who’d chosen their own comfort over loyalty to me.

“It’s up to you,” Layla said, refilling her now empty wineglass. “If you want to give Matt a chance, that’s your choice, but you’d better be prepared for me to put him through his paces.”

I set my plate aside and hugged her. “I love you.”

“Love you too, boo.” She patted my back, then drew away. “Enough man drama. Tell me what’s going on at work.”

I laughed. “We don’t all get to date the perfect Sam. You have to expect a little drama.”

She grinned. “He is pretty perfect, isn’t he? Now I just need to convince him that he’d be better off taking you hiking than me.”

“Good luck.” Sam seemed determined to find something outdoorsy that Layla would enjoy. “Anyway, I got the go-ahead from Stella to create a calendar of the guys with the shelter animals, which will be fun, and the documentary team is accompanying the team on their next away game, so I’ll be going too.”

“Hmm.” She cocked her head. “Perhaps you could use that time to get a better feel for whatever is going on with Matt. You know, actually try to talk to him and get a sense of how he’s changed rather than avoiding him. Not that I blame you for avoiding him, but if you’re considering your options, it might be a good idea to chat a little.”

I nodded because she was right. “I’ll think about that, but in the meantime, I want to hear more about how things are going with Sam.”

We chatted for a while longer before migrating to the sofa, where I put on a hockey game—not one of the Chaos’s. We were ten minutes into the first period when my phone buzzed. Frowning, I checked the screen. It was a message from Matt.

Matt: I liked what we did today. I know you’re not sure about any of this, but I just wanted you to know that. It was amazing and I’m open to whatever you’re willing to give me.

I read and reread the message, unsure what to think of it. On the one hand, it was sweet. He made me want to take a chance on him.