Page 18 of A Ghost’s Guide to Haunting a Witch

“What, no wild London nights out? No amazing dates? No scandalous affairs with mysterious strangers who lurk in incense shops?”

Tell her about the part where you found this potential witch hunter slash odd customer to be ‘conventionally attractive’, Roy mouthed at her, and Augustine shot him a look.

“No,” she said to her sister, glaring at Roy once more. “There’s no one.”

“You’re not even trying.”

“You know I don’t date,” Augustine said. “We keep to ourselves. That’s the rule, remember?”

“We can still date,” Celestine said reasonably. “You can date. You just have to be careful, like with that guy. What was his name again?”

“What guy?” Augustine asked, genuinely baffled.

“The one you started seeing last year,” she said. “You liked him. He was tall. I remember you said he was tall.”

Augustine shrugged, knowing Celestine couldn’t see it. “I have no idea who you’re talking about.”

“Huh.” Celestine paused. “You seemed to like him a lot. I can’t believe you don’t remember him.”

Augustine paused, thoroughly confused. She didn’t date. She never dated. She still fondly remembered the attractive man who’d delivered the shelving for her shop three years ago. There was no way she’d forget a whole ass boyfriend from just last year.

Then, suddenly, it became clear.

“Are you mixing me up with Maddy maybe?” Augustine asked. “She’s always got someone on the go.”

Celestine laughed. “Probably. That would make sense. Honestly, that girl’s trouble.”

“That’s why I keep her close.”

“Closer than you should, maybe."

“Celeste, we’ve spoken about this before—”

“I know, I know.” Celeste sighed. “I don’t agree, I think it’s a risk, but I know.”

“I worry about her. She’s only twenty-two and so impulsive.”

“I worry, too, but about everyone, including you. You should get out more,” Celestine added, fond but firm. Then, more worriedly, “Just . . . be careful. I don’t want to lose you. Any of you.”

Augustine’s throat tightened unexpectedly. She scratched Bird absently under the chin, losing herself momentarily in the solid, warm weight of him.

“I’ll be fine,” she said. “I always am.”

Celestine didn’t argue this time. “Call me if anything changes.”

“I will.”

They hung up, and Roy looked over from his chair. “So,” he said lightly. “In summary, the stars say you’re in danger, your sister thinks you need a social life, and Uranus is doing whatever the fuck it is that Uranus does.”

“Which isn’t much,” Augustine replied absently. “Uranus is basically a lifeless ice giant.”

“I’ve been on dates with men you could sum up in exactly the same way,” Roy returned with a grin, but Augustine didn’t smile back.

“Did you know a year on Uranus is equivalent to eighty-four years here?” she asked suddenly, and Roy blinked in surprise. “I mean, that’s a lifetime for some people.”

“Sure. For the lucky ones,” Roy remarked. “Some people don’t get a full Uranus year,” he added quietly. “Some people get much less than that. It’s not fair, but it happens.”

Augustine nodded.