Page 20 of Marrying Bluebeard

His white, linen shirt is rolled up to the elbows, and I find myself fixating on the muscles that cord his forearms as he grips the reins, recalling the strength of his hands as they wrapped around my waist that night behind the curtain. Squeezing my thighs, I urge my horse past him. Hooves thunder in rhythm with my heart as he catches up, a wicked grin slashed across his face as he meets my gaze.

I veer left, down the hill toward the stream. The world turns in slow motion as I rein my horse in, allowing her to cool down before dismounting. Bertrand watches me from atop his mount as I tether her to the willow that sways beside the clear, cool water. I lower myself onto the soft moss and tilt my head up. “Sit with me?”

He hesitates, his expression shuttered. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s an excellent idea.”

His knuckles whiten. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’m a grown woman, Bertrand.” I lean back on my hands, arching my back. “I know exactly what I’m saying.”

His voice is plaintive as he whispers, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I trail my fingertips along the edge of my décolletage. “Maybe I like a little pain.”

He sucks in a breath, his heated gaze following the flow of my hand as it pushes aside a delicate white sleeve, baring my shoulder. It lingers there, searing my flesh with its intensity, but then he turns, looking determinedly in the other direction. “I’m going to propose to Miss Dellum tomorrow.”

The world tilts, slamming me back into reality.

I’m a bloody fool.

My cheeks burn as I right myself, tugging frantically at my sleeve. What was I thinking, trying to seduce him like that? I knew he’d been spending all his time with her. I knew it…

And yet, I never once saw him look at her the way he’s looked at me.

“I didn’t realize you felt that way about her,” I murmur. “My apologies.”

“Don’t.” His voice cracks. “Please, don’t apologize. You weren’t… you weren’t wrong. She’s a nice girl, but she’s not”—he takes a steadying breath—“she’s not you.”

I can’t look at him. I’m on the brink of tears, and I can’t bear for him to see me cry. What little pride I have left won’t allow it. Still, I have to know. “If that’s true then… why would you want to marry her?”

“Because she’s a smart choice,” he whispers. “An easy choice.”

“And I’m what?” I let the building anger dry my tears. “A poor choice? Too wild, too wanton?” I square my shoulders as I stand, looking him in the eye. “Too wicked?”

His gaze never wavers. “No, Adelaide. You’re too perfect. And that is why it can never be you.” With that, he turns his horse around. “I trust you can find your way back without me?”

I manage a nod, which is ridiculous, since he’s facing the other direction. “I’ll be fine,” I lie, willing myself to sound unaffected and failing miserably.

His back is rigid as he remains in place. A muscle ticks in his jaw, and he gives a jerky nod. “You will be,” he whispers, the words barely audible.

And then he’s gone, and I allow the tears to break free.

14

ADELAIDE

“Margie.” I fiddle with the ties of my nightgown, not daring to look at my sister’s reflection in the mirror as she brushes my hair. “If Julia didn’t want to be with you, would you marry someone you didn’t love if it meant helping the family?”

Marguerite’s hands still. “Why? Did she say something to you?”

“No, of course not,” I assure her, hearing the note of panic lurking beneath the calm. “It was just a hypothetical.”

“I see.” She resumes brushing, but her eyes are shrewd when I finally dare to meet them. “Hypothetically, is the person who doesn’t want to be with someone a mysterious gentleman with a blue beard?”

I pick at a spot of lint. “Perhaps.”

“Addie.” She says my name softly as she moves to sit beside me on the cushioned bench, the brush tucked away in her lap. “If Monsieur de Montragoux doesn’t see what an absolute jewel you are, then I’m glad the two of you can’t be together. You deserve someone who will cherish you as much as Julia cherishes me. And as for marrying to benefit the family, I say to hell with that.”