Page 58 of Black Ledger

Slowly, step by step, he approached like a beast tamer, trying not to set off the tiger in the cage. But I didn’t move—not even an inch.

Gently, he pried my fingers off the box and placed it on the narrow console table next to his door. I let him.

“You’re very angry.”

My throat was dry as ash and on fire. “Yes,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry, I thought you would want to see it.”

I blinked. Did he think I was mad he had cut off a politician’s son’s head? That was not at all the problem. “You sent it to my sorority house.”

Confusion painted itself across his face. “What?”

“Anyone could have opened the box and seen it.” I crossed my arms protectively over my chest. Severin could not go to jail for me. I couldn’t get caught covering up a murder for him. That’s why fury flowed through my blood like wildfire.

“Wait, so you’re not mad at me for giving you a severed head?”

“No.”

“You’re mad because I left it at your sorority house?”

“Yes,” I said, my nose scrunching. “That’s what I said.”

Severin’s brow furrowed, and he took a step back into his room, and his gaze searched my face. “Come in, Zaya.”

Instead of arguing with him or telling him for the millionth time not to call me Bunny, I did what he asked.

He sat on his bed and patted the spot next to him. “Join me, Zaya.”

I followed his instructions too easily, but then I liked it when he told me what to do… far more than I would ever admit. “Tell me in excruciating detail what you did to him.”

For a moment, we sat in silence, both staring at Severin’s light blue bedroom walls. Then, in excruciating detail, he told me how they tortured him for two weeks. Severin, Ilya, Kaz, and Maks had worked together—for once without arguments. They peeled back his skin from his body slowly, plucked out his eyes, and cut off his fingers one by one. They also cut off his penis, grilled it, and forced him to eat it. I found that bit incredibly inspiring.

I sat quietly through the entire story, refusing to take my gaze off the blue paint. I counted the grooves in the stucco. I didn’t know how to look at Severin or even what to say. So instead, I focused on the torture. On the image of Chad tied up and his muscles exposed, bleeding from being skinned alive.

It must have been excruciating.

I loved that, because he had stolen from me. He made me weak and question myself and hate myself, and I wanted him to suffer. I was glad Severin made that happen.

After an age of silence, I finally breathed, “Thank you.”

Severin was patient, waiting for me to say more or do something. But I didn’t know what to say or do, and I especially couldn’t meet his eyes. Severin always knew too much. He was clever and brilliant, and if I looked him in the eyes, he’d see everything.

All of my broken pieces.

And I wouldn’t survive that.

He let me sit there like that for a long time without saying a word. But when he finally spoke, I wanted to run away. “Look at me, Xeniya.”

I pursed my lips, my face aching from holding everything in. I couldn’t do it. I just… he’d know everything. He’d see me.

“Please, Xen.”

No. I wanted to cry. But I also couldn’t deny him. There was something about Severin Volkov that made me want to obey him, even when doing so was excruciating. Because I trusted him, and sometimes I just liked letting go and being taken care of. So I turned to face him, and when my eyes met his, I blinked. Hard.

His irises darkened and pierced my soul. He held my gaze for a long moment before reaching out and grasping my hand. I flinched, then hated myself for it. But he wasn’t fazed at all. Then he said six words that made it hurt even worse.

“I would do anything for you.”