Page 8 of Doubting Hearts

Chapter Three

TOBY

STORMING INTO my office still feeling like I had an iron bar down the front of my nattily tailored suit pants, I slammed the door behind me.

That arsehole! Where the hell did he get off calling me a bloody twink? Not that there was anything wrong with them. I’d had my fair share myself over the years, but the way he’d said it had sounded like an insult.

“Bastard,” I muttered loudly. I adjusted myself with a wince. “One of those bloody macho men who think he can just take what he wants.” The thought of Rain Engel taking what he wanted didn’t help. My cock seemed to like that idea, and I frowned down at the area currently creating my sense of discomfort. “And you’re no bloody good, you traitor.”

Christ, that man had been sex on legs. And that accent, that slight twang in his voice, was a real turn-on.

Tall, well built, olive-skinned, and muscled, with a shock of unruly black hair both on his head and on his chest and a line of stubble along his chin that had scraped mine as he’d kissed me. And deep-blue eyes, like cobalt. He’d smelled like vanilla, a strange smell for a man, as I would have expected a more animal, musky scent from someone as hot as he was. But I could still smell it, taste his scent in my mouth. I sat down behind my desk and checked my e-mail. I needed to take my mind off him and, oh God, the feeling of his hardness pressing into my groin. That hot, erotic, and extremely satisfying kiss…. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d gone from famine to feast in less than twenty-four hours. I’d lusted for my boss and mentor, and now I had the hots for the contractor. I was definitely in bad shape. Give a man a bone… and he got a boner.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” I exclaimed in exasperation. I stood up. It was nearly lunchtime. I’d go and see what Tammy was doing. Perhaps something to eat and a quick walk in town in the fresh air might take the edge off.

* * *

A WEEK later and I was still putting up with Rain Engel’s brooding presence in the hotel. I thought gloomily it would be at least three months that we’d have to bear each other’s “company.”

At least we were being professional about it. By that I mean I didn’t speak to him unless I had to, preferring to speak to the more affable Lucas. Rain tended to send his messages via Tammy, who he’d cottoned onto as being my friend. Tammy was highly amused, and in fact, I thought I was doing her a favor. It was obvious to me that Lucas had taken quite a shine to her. It might take her mind off that useless, domineering boyfriend of hers and give her a little something more to think about. She certainly seemed to enjoy the flirtation. Simon and I still hadn’t had that “talk” he’d mentioned, as things had been very busy. He’d been away for a couple of days somewhere too, and I’d been skirting the issue myself. The few times we had been together, I’d tried to keep it totally professional. Simon had been the epitome of professionalism too, although there were times I’d caught him glancing at me in a very nonprofessional manner, his eyes sultry. I chose to ignore that.

But the last two days he’d been a little more withdrawn with me, seeming to go out of his way to avoid me. I was now even more confused about my feelings, given the fact that every time Rain Engel walked close to me or our eyes met, I felt this instant blast of sheer animalism from the man. I was in a state of constant arousal, and my right hand was starting to complain. I was becoming a candidate for RSI. Perhaps they’d find a new name for this particular injury and call it a special strain of “wank-me-off-itis.”

I watched as Tammy arranged her desk with her usual precision of organized chaos, ready to leave. It was almost 8:00 p.m., later than her usual knock-off time, as we’d had a conference in the ballroom, and it had overrun. The delegates had been picky, demanding, and an absolute nightmare to manage.

She looked at me with a tired smile. “Right. I’m ready to go home, have a hot bath, and get into bed with a good book.” Her face looked a little more strained than usual, and her mobile hadn’t stopped twittering all evening. I assumed it was the boyfriend trying to control her life again and find out where she was.

I walked over and gave her a hug. “Tam, you look knackered, sweetheart. Take a nice glass of red wine into the tub with you. That always does it for me.”

“I thought Rain Engel did it for you, Toby,” she muttered, and I frowned.

“God, no.” I crossed my fingers in the fervent hope that a lightning strike from the big guy didn’t knock me down where I stood. I wasn’t going to admit to her that the big lug who wandered around the hotel in his cutoff tee shirts with his brawny arms on show, giving me a permanent hard-on, was special. “I have more taste than that.”

She nodded in amusement. “You keep telling yourself that. That man has you all aflutter.” She grinned. “But as long as you two aren’t giving in to the desire to jump each other’s bones, which is quite obvious to anyone, really, at least I have the lovely Lucas paying me attention.”

“I do so not want to jump his bones.” Fingers crossed tighter. She thinks he wants to jump mine? My groin warmed up at the thought.

“Toby, even Simon’s noticed. He mentioned it the other day, something about the two of you seeming a little at odds with each other. I might have mentioned that I thought you two had the hots for each other, and he didn’t know what to say.” She frowned, a small crease on her forehead marring her pretty face. “In fact, he seemed a little strange about it. He said it was about time you found someone to be with. Then he upped and disappeared, and I don’t think I saw him the rest of the day.”

I groaned loudly. “Tammy, you shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want him thinking I’d bonk someone he’s employed in the hotel. You know his rules.” And now he knew I had the hots for someone. Perhaps that was why he’d backed off. But I had the hots for him too, didn’t I? Christ, this is all so bloody confusing.

“Yes, but Rain isn’t employed, he’s a contractor from outside. So ‘Simon’s Rule’ doesn’t strictly count. That’s for employees and customers; everyone knows that.”

“You talk too much, missy,” I admonished her. “Now get out of here before Neil comes looking for you to drag you back by the hair, with his knuckles scraping on the ground like the caveman he is.” I’d meant it as a joke, but it obviously hit a nerve with her.

“Toby, for God’s sake, he’s not that bad. Sometimes you make me so mad.”

Her lips pressed together as she slung her bag over her shoulder and marched away. I was about to go after her to apologize for my comment but was distracted by an elderly patron asking where the restroom was. He was a little hard of hearing, and by the time I’d tried to explain where it was, it was easier to simply escort him to the very palatial loo.

The bathrooms in the hotel had been designed by some world-class designer who’d won an award for them. They were a little too rich for me. I preferred clean, fresh lines with a minimalist feel. Once he was sorted, I went out to see if Tammy was still around.

The garden was full of people sitting on wrought iron chairs, enjoying their drinks and bar snacks. It was warm, and the sun was still beaming its rays across the trees and the grass. People nodded at me as I walked down the path to the graveled car park.

I smiled at them, waving and nodding back. It was a garden made to be outside in. The herb garden gave off a fragrance of rosemary and lavender, and the brightly colored flowers moved slightly in the breeze, also enjoying the sunshine.

Tammy normally parked her car around the side in the shade of a large oak tree. As I walked around, I heard shouting. She was standing at the half-open door to her car. Neil’s hand was clasped tightly around her wrist as he shouted. She struggled to remove herself from his grasp. A surge of anger swept through me at the sight of him manhandling her, and I moved swiftly toward them. As I got closer, he smiled nastily, still holding tight to her wrist. “Well, look who’s coming to the rescue,” he sneered. “Fag boy himself. Sucked any good cock lately, Toby?” He waved at his own groin area. “I have to say I’m particular about who I let down there, but Tam here makes a pretty good job of it.”

Tammy’s face blushed red, and her look of sheer mortification was more than I could bear.