Page 75 of Doubting Hearts

I grimaced. “I was going to kiss you good morning, but you can forget that now.” The finger was raised again. I chuckled. “How’s the head? Do you need any painkillers?”

“Taken them already” was the gargled reply as Toby brushed his teeth. His face was pale, his eyes stark, and he looked washed out. I waited for him to finish rinsing his mouth out. Then as he turned, I pulled him over and hugged him.

“Good morning.” I nuzzled his neck, smelling the scent of sweat and sheer Toby. He still smelled of watermelon shower gel. “Do you remember much of last night? You were pretty out of it.”

He scowled as he pressed himself against me, and I felt his morning erection pressing into my stomach. I dutifully ignored it. Hanky-panky could wait.

“I remember you shoving me in the fucking shower and putting the cold water on full blast,” he growled. “Bloody sadist.”

I shook my head. “Oh no, my sadism would be much worse than that. The whole slapping thing, remember?”

He laughed, and I heard the old Toby somewhere inside. “Yeah, you definitely like that idea, Rain. We’ll have to see what we can do about it.” He moved away from me, into the bedroom, and started dressing in his suit. He was obviously going to work.

“Toby, do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly. “Last night— you were hurting, honey. Let me help.”

He turned to look at me, his eyes sad. “Rain, he died. I knew he was going to. It just—hurt, that’s all. A link to my past just gone. I went a bit off the rails for a minute. But I can’t do anything about it. I need to forget about it and move on.” He kissed my cheek softly as he brushed by me. “I have you. You’re all I need.” He looked down at my sweats, changing the subject. I let him if that’s what he wanted. “Are you going to drive me in or should I get a taxi? I’m going to be late anyway. What are your plans for today?”

I moved away and pulled on a tee shirt, changing my sweats for jeans. “I’ll drive you in. You’re probably over the limit still. Are you sure you don’t want to stay here, sleep it off?”

He shook his head. “I’d rather be at work. I’ve loads to do. The work for the hotel for this bloody fair and the extra traffic through town is driving me crazy, and November fifth is only two weeks away.” He glanced at me. “Are you all set up for your dance routine, by the way? How’s it going?” He smiled smugly. “You know we sold all the tickets for your show?”

I grinned. “Good to hear. I’ll have a wide audience, then. As to my routine—you’ll have to wait and see like everyone else. But I promise you, you’ll like it.”

He looked suspicious. “Rain, we agreed. Nothing too raunchy. I know it’s a private show, over eighteens only, but there’ll be old ladies there. I don’t want to be managing heart attacks.”

I leered at him. “Would I do that to you? You know I leave the real sexy stuff till we’re alone.”

He eyed me, then sighed. “Come on. Hurry up and let’s get off. I have a day job to get to.”

* * *

BOTH TAMMY and Lucas were understanding about Toby’s father’s death and him scaring us all to death. They hugged him, telling him if he needed to talk, they were there. I could see that all Toby wanted to do was forget about it for the moment, so we all played along.

A week later a parcel arrived for Toby. It contained an envelope of his father’s last possessions, things that had been with him at the hospital prison. I sat with my boyfriend as he sorted through the meager debris of a man’s life. Toby’s birth certificate was in there, along with some of his baby pictures and some of his mother and Vince together. He was quiet as he sorted through them, and I knew he must be hurting. But when he’d finished, he turned to me with a sad smile.

“I’ve got more now than I had before, Rain. I should be grateful.” I knew he wasn’t just talking about the stuff he’d been left, and my heart swelled with love for him.

The date of the fair loomed upon us sooner than we knew. Dave Beddington was experienced in putting the whole thing together, and I had no doubt, in his large, capable hands, it would be a success. The town was abuzz with the talk of crochet and jam stalls.

Simon and Luis arrived two days before the event, and I was pleased that Toby had his old employer back. Regardless of how Simon felt about Toby, the two men were very close, and in Toby’ eyes, Simon was family. That made the man good enough for me, even if I did watch him closely that he didn’t try and hit on my lover. But I had the feeling Luis would have had something to say about that. He was a handsome, slight Spanish man, clean-shaven, with sparkling eyes. Simon had introduced him to people as an “old friend.” Luis’s eyes had narrowed at the term. Simon obviously wasn’t quite ready to come out to the town yet as being bisexual. I had the feeling Luis disapproved of that approach.

The morning of the Winter Festival, Toby was in full mission mode, giving instructions to the hotel staff, making sure the hotel ran like clockwork, and threatening death to anyone who didn’t pitch in. Simon was back in full force too, and the two of them were something to be reckoned with, although I would have taken Simon on rather than Toby. My lover in full boss mode was quite intimidating, and I was pretty turned on by the sight. I hoped we’d have a chance to get together for a little personal time before I did my routine later that afternoon. It wouldn’t be very good sprouting a huge erection while I was doing my dance routine.

I was sitting, admiring the sight of Toby driving everyone else crazy for a change, when Lucas ambled over to me, looking like a shaggy bear in his baggy jeans, oversize tee shirt, and with blond fuzz on his face. “Rain, that man of yours is a bloody terror.” He chuckled. “He’s a bossy little git, isn’t he?”

I nodded proudly. “He is that. Simon’s created a monster.” I watched as Toby loomed menacingly over some poor unfortunate waiter, giving terse instructions as to how to fold the napkins on the dining tables. The waiter looked as if he was going to burst into tears. I grinned.

Lucas was watching him with both admiration and disbelief. “He’s like some sort of unholy Sybil Fawlty,” he said wonderingly.

I snorted with laughter at that comparison. Toby would be quite proud of being compared to the bossy, efficient character from the cult TV series Fawlty Towers.

He looked at me. “Talking of Simon, where is he? I’d have thought he’d be here with Toby.”

I shrugged. “He said Toby had everything under control, so he and Luis went over to give Dave a hand.”

Lucas nodded. “What time is your shindig on stage, then? Everything all set up?”

I nodded. “Dave’s sorted it all out. He’s got the props, the pole, everything sorted. I’m ready to rock and roll at two o’clock.” I did a quick shimmy around the lounge, seeing Toby’s grin as he watched me. I winked at him, and his intense stare went straight to my groin. I knew that look. The garden hut was definitely going to see us soon.