Page 58 of Doubting Hearts

Toby smiled. “He seems to think I’m some sort of superhero for fighting off Neil. But he basically just wanted to see if I was all right.”

“That was sweet of him. He was a right feisty little bugger in the hospital. Poor Lucas had his hands full.”

Toby snuggled down into the covers and draped his arm across my stomach. “I can believe it. The little bugger made me cry.”

I looked at him in disbelief. “Made you cry? Why?”

He shrugged as his eyes closed. “He told me I was a brave and good man. So did Haruka, the translator. They really seemed to care. It felt good to have someone else say that about me.”

He sounded drowsy, and I stroked his hair as I watched him fall asleep. I felt a rush of love so strong for him that I wanted to wake him up and tell him. But I knew I wouldn’t. I remembered the texts I’d been getting. My heart plummeted. I wasn’t going to tell him anything until I’d managed to sort out the conflicting feelings I had.

Tommy was definitely leaving Monte Carlo, and he wanted to swing by for a “visit.” My knee-jerk reaction had been one of pleasure that I’d actually be able to see him again. My second had been anger that he thought he could just pick up where we left off. I wasn’t sure how I would feel if I saw him now, and I had Toby in my life. Two years of a relationship versus four months of knowing someone was a very big difference. I’d agreed to meet my ex in a couple of days’ time when he arrived so we could “talk.”

I wasn’t saying anything to Lucas, as he’d probably beat the shit out of me for even considering seeing Tommy. Lucas was very fond of my current lover, and I knew where his affections lay. So, I hugged my secret to myself and waited to see what happened when Tommy and I met up again. We’d agreed to meet at my place. I knew Simon was going to be visiting Toby from Spain at the same time, and I had the feeling Toby would be occupied with his ex-boss. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that relationship either. But I knew I had no right to be jealous given what I was about to do.

* * *

THREE DAYS later I sat waiting in nervous anticipation to meet Tommy at my cottage. I knew Toby was occupied. Simon had arrived yesterday and instantly whisked him away on a nonstop tour of lunches, chats, and slide shows of the new hotel he was building. I’d hardly seen my boyfriend over the past few days, except for one night of passion in his hotel room. I’d started work with Lucas on building the library for Joe Masterton in Leicester, a job that was proving a challenge. I was also still practicing my moves for the fete. According to Toby, tickets were selling like hotcakes, and he and Dave were very pleased at the support being shown. I felt excited about being able to show off my skills in public.

I sat now, on the porch of my cottage, my second beer in hand, waiting for the taxi to arrive with my ex-lover. A white car drove up the dirt road toward my home. My stomach dropped as it drew to a stop. The driver got out and walked around to the boot. He opened it, taking out a large suitcase and plonking it down on the ground. My mouth dropped. I certainly hadn’t said Tommy could stay here with me at my place. That was a recipe for disaster.

Tommy himself clambered out the back of the car, all long limbs, curly auburn hair, and a wide smile that made me dizzy. He was dressed casually in tight-fitting blue jeans and a white tee shirt that clung to his abs. He was more tanned and relaxed, but the man was still so bloody gorgeous. I felt my heart and groin lurch at the sight of him. I clenched my hands, willing any physical reaction away. Tommy came toward me, swinging his duffel bag, as the taxi drove off. The suitcase still sat on the ground where it had been left. I wanted to shout out to the driver, tell him to wait as Tommy wouldn’t be staying, but I couldn’t find my voice. Instead I watched as the car dwindled into the distance.

Tommy stood in front of me, smiling. His brown eyes shone with affection. “Rain, you look great, sweetheart. You’ve been working out. Those lovely shoulders of yours are a treat for sore eyes.”

He leaned in to kiss me, and I moved away. He stopped, regarding me with an expression of hurt. “What, no hello kisses? I know it’s been a while, but I at least thought….” His voice trailed off at the expression on my face. He sighed as he hefted his duffel bag higher onto his shoulder. “Still mad with me, huh?”

“It’s been a fucking year, Tommy.” The immediate anger in my voice surprised even me. “Don’t come back here expecting things to be the same. And you’re not staying here with me. You’ll need to find a hotel. And not the Duck and Drake. Somewhere else.”

I marched inside the cool entrance of my home, and he followed me.

His voice was wry when he next spoke. “I see. Definitely still mad at me, then. God, you can really bear a grudge.” He dropped his bag onto my couch and slumped down on the seat.

I gazed at him in sheer stupefaction. “A grudge? Christ, Tommy, you pissed off and left me to go ‘find yourself’ and explore your ‘inner man.’” I snorted. “And I’m pretty sure you did a helluva lot of exploring of other men’s inners as well. So, don’t expect me to fall at your bloody feet.” I glared at him.

His voice was sulky. “Okay, calm down. Jeez, Rain. You’ve become a real prima donna since I left.”

As if it was all my fault. The arrogance of the man stunned me.

“So, this is your house, huh?” He looked around critically. “Not quite what we’re used to, is it?” I kept mercifully quiet, biting my tongue. “So, the house in Chelsea is being rented, then?”

I nodded. “I didn’t want to sell it. It’s worth more as an investment if we keep it, what with the property prices rising there all the time.”

“I think we should sell it now I’m back, split the profits,” he said. “I could use the money. Monte Carlo is an expensive place to live. Christ, Rain, is that what I think it is?” He was staring at the pole in my lounge with a wide smile. “Some habits just don’t die, do they? I remember watching you on those in the clubs. You were so bloody hot.” He looked at me meaningfully. “Maybe you can show me later what you do on that. I know I’d like a reminder.”

“Not going to happen, Tommy, so don’t get your hopes up,” I said tightly.

He grinned, looking as if he didn’t believe me. Despite my initial favorable reaction at seeing him, I was beginning to get really pissed off with the man sitting in front of me. It was a good feeling. I thought it might mean I was ready to move on.

“Anyway, I don’t think we should sell yet. And you’ll need my signature for that,” I said curtly.

He scowled. “Aren’t you going to offer me something to drink, Rainman?” The familiar endearment threw me a little. Tommy had used it when we were intimate, and it had become a name that was gasped out as he came.

I opened the fridge. “I have a beer.” He nodded, and I opened one and passed it over to him. He observed me closely as I sat on the couch next to him. There was nowhere else to sit.

“Why are you back, Tommy?” I asked quietly. He looked uncomfortable. “Did you run out of money over there?” He flushed under his tanned skin, and I knew I’d hit on the truth. “I thought you had a great job and benefits over there. What happened?”

He glanced at me. “It was good for a while. Then I started playing the tables and got myself into a bit of debt. The money ran out, and the job didn’t pan out so well, so I thought I’d come back here—take a bit of a break.”