Page 53 of Doubting Hearts

Chapter Fifteen

TOBY

RAIN’S MOUTH took me to a place where I didn’t have to think about the day’s events or any of the stuff I’d just told him. The sensation he caused with his tongue and lips was enough for me to close my eyes as I tried to forget the pain that radiated through my body and my soul. Sharing my story with him had been cathartic. I’d never told anyone any of the details before. By hitting Neil I’d given in to the violence and hate that had been so prevalent in my younger years. My body shuddered as I climaxed, crying out Rain’s name, gripping his silky hair with fingers that just didn’t want to lose contact with him. He moved slowly up to kiss me gently, and I tasted myself in his mouth. His warm fingers soothed the still-damp hair away from my brow as he lay beside me, his arm lying gently across my body as he shushed me into sleep with warm endearments and sweet kisses.

“Don’t worry about me,” he murmured as I reached down with my hand to touch him. “I’ll keep. You just go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

I relaxed, the thought of his body next to me comforting me, making me feel safe. I felt loved, even though Rain hadn’t said the words.

* * *

THE FOLLOWING morning, Rain left me with a kiss and a promise that he’d be home as soon as he could. I lazed around in bed for a while, with Sheba snoring softly beside me. It had been a long time since I’d had a proper lie-in. Later, when I was dressed, Sheba and I went to sit outside on the patio. I would have loved to walk, but I knew with my damaged side it would have been suicide. Instead I watched her, me in the big cushioned wicker chair, Sheba strolling in the undergrowth and sniffing curiously at anything that moved. I’d never had the pleasure of a dog’s company before. I could see how people thought having a dog was good therapy. Watching her give that stupid doggy grin as she darted around chasing butterflies and the occasional rabbit in the long grass made me smile. When she stopped her exercise routine, she came to lie at my feet, panting, watching me as her tail thumped softly on the ground.

“He’s a good man, your master,” I said to her softly. “He has a little trouble expressing himself, but he’s definitely an ‘action speaks louder than words’ kind of guy. I think I’m crazy in love with him, Sheba. What do you think?”

Her wise eyes seemed to say, “Of course you are, you idiot. This is Rain we’re talking about. Who wouldn’t be?”

I grinned at that thought. A discordant ringing from my denim jacket shattered the stillness of the morning as my mobile told me someone wanted to speak with me. I dug it out of my pocket, and my heart lurched when I saw it was Simon. I hadn’t told him about the attack yet, what with everything that had happened.

I answered my phone. “Hi, Simon.”

“Toby? Why the fuck didn’t you call me about the fact you’d been stuffed up by that prick Neil?” His angry voice echoed down the miles. I sighed.

“Good morning to you too, Simon. I’m sorry, things got a little away from me, and I hadn’t got the chance to call you yet. How did you hear?”

“I still have people at the hotel who keep in touch, Toby. Unlike someone I could mention.” His aggrieved voice made me smile. I’d have to eat humble pie to make him feel better.

“I apologize, Simon, honestly. I only got out of hospital yesterday, and I’ve been a little distracted.”

“Toby, are you okay? Are you going to be fine?” The sudden shift from pissed off to concerned made me blink.

“I’ve been better. A nasty stab wound and some bruises—I suppose it could be worse.”

“God, Toby.” His voice was choked with emotion. “Sweetheart, you could have been killed.”

I took a deep breath at his use of that endearment. “Simon, I’m fine.

Rain’s been taking good care of me.”

There was silence; then he spoke again. “I’m glad you have someone there with you. I’m going to be over in a week’s time anyway to sign off on the bar and get all the payments organized for the contractors. I might come over a couple of days earlier to make sure you’re okay.”

“You don’t have to put yourself out for me,” I said quietly. “I’ll be back at work soon anyway.”

“One doesn’t ‘put oneself out for someone’ when they care about them, Toby. It’s what friends do for each other. Some bastard tried to beat you to blazes, and when I get there you can be sure I’ll have something to say about it.”

I felt a frisson of fear. “Simon, please don’t make waves about it. I’m not pressing charges—”

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not pressing bloody charges?” His disbelieving voice got louder. “Of course you have to put that bullying little tosser in his place. Why wouldn’t you?”

I closed my eyes. The last thing I wanted was for Simon to know anything more about my sordid past than what I’d already told him. I’d always kept most of it from him for a reason. He was my hero, and I wanted nothing to taint his view of who I was. He needed to know the current Toby, not the old one.

“I have my reasons. Please just don’t rock the boat.” The pleading note in my voice must have gotten to him because he sighed deeply.

“Toby, I can’t begin to understand what your reasons would be, but I’ll respect them, of course. But we need to talk when I’m over there. I hope we can find time to do that.”

“Of course. I’ve always got time for you, you know that. Have you given your dates to Tammy as to when you’ll be here, then?” I scratched Sheba’s ears idly, and she snuffled against my leg.

“Yes, she’s got the details. I’m going to be a bit tied up over the next few days, as Luis and I are going up to the mountains for a short break before I have a bloody breakdown. This hotel is taking up a lot of time. The pace is so slow, and the people just don’t understand the urgency of what I want to do. Luis insisted I calm down, although I really can’t afford the time off.”