Page 5 of Soul of Discretion

“Have you tried? Look, I get it, you’re shy. You prefer to stay in the background, but you have to put yourself out there. When is the last time you had a real relationship? Hook-ups don’t count.”

Steph read him too well. Sure, in Nick’s professional life he was at the top of his game; he felt confident and sure. Other divisions and agencies often called him in to consult on open cases or cases that had gone cold. By contrast, his personal life resembled a train wreck. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got it under control.”

“In other words, ‘mind my own business.’” Steph laughed easily before turning that megawatt smile toward someone walking up behind Nick. He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Ben, Steph’s husband—one of Nick’s fellow officers.

“Mind your business about what? You hitting on my wife?” Ben asked.

“Not a chance. I like my balls where they are.” Nick turned and shook his friend’s hand. These were the only two people whom Nick considered himself close with. Everyone else was simply a colleague.

“Why would you care where your balls are? You’re not using them,” Steph chided Nick before kissing her husband in welcome.

“Ouch, whatcha do?” Ben asked while protectively covering his own family jewels.

Nick knew if he sat there long enough he wouldn’t have to explain anything, and he was right.

“Nick needs to settle down, find himself a nice guy to spend personal time with…” Steph began, and Nick tuned out their conversation. Nick wasn’t shy; he preferred to think before he spoke. He didn’t need or want to be the centre of attention, but his silence was often mistaken as self-consciousness, shyness, or he was labelled as an introvert.

What he wanted was to find a man who saw Nick the way he was and not dismiss him for lacking in some way. Whatever happened to the strong but silent type being fine, even desired? Nowadays, if you didn’t behave in a loud, dominating, and forceful manner, you ran the chance of being viewed as weak. His large size helped nothing—twinks seemed to be attracted to him in droves, always looking for a “big strong protector.”

Nick never judged people, their choices, or how they lived their lives, mainly because he’d been judged his entire life. It wasn’t his thing. Nick preferred men closer to his own size who took the control away from him even if only for a little while—to stop being in his own mind and just feel.

Nick glanced at his phone. I may not have somebody in my life on a permanent basis, but I could have somebody for tonight. He touched the screen of his phone, bringing it to life, and opened crUIzer. Its familiar gold and royal blue logo popped up, a double circle with notches on the inside. Nick liked that cheeky touch.

Sure enough, there were messages.

He skimmed through them, and the introductions and dick shots, but nothing stood out. Until Nick got to the bottom of the screen, where the only thing written below his standard profile was a one-line message.

Hilton, Executive Suite 1001, 10pm.

Short and to the point, which drove Nick to take a closer look at the guy’s profile. Aristocat69 was almost the same size as him and a top, thank god. Even without a shirt on the man seemed polished and in control, his blond hair perfectly coifed. Nick wanted to explore Aristocat69’s long, lean muscles and defined chest. Power emanated from his brown eyes and his smile struck Nick as smug. Adjusting himself on his chair, Nick fought not to get hard in the middle of the bar.

Taking a quick glance at his watch, Nick noted that it was 9:30. The Hilton was only a few minutes away from his hotel. He didn’t know what it was about this man but before he made the conscious decision to respond, his fingers had already flown across the screen.

Aristocat69Agreed Northernsalute. Nick kept it simple and to the point as well. He didn’t get the impression Aristocat69 appreciated long and flowery.

“Who’s the guy?” Steph asked, and Nick turned to find her peeking over his arm. “He’s hot.”

“Hey, I’m right here,” Ben groused, sticking his bottom lip out like a child. The effect was lost, considering Ben was a bear of a man.

Steph turned and hugged her husband. “I know, honey, and I love you, but I’m not dead. A girl can appreciate the male form. And let me tell you, that man there is a perfect specimen.”

“Well, you can appreciate all you want, but I don’t think you’re his type,” Nick joked before he swallowed the rest of his beer. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.” He placed money on the bar to cover their drinks and stood.

“Be safe, you can never be too careful in these situations. Maybe I should call in, say an hour, to make sure you’re fine,” Steph suggested before waving down the bartender for another drink. Steph was letting loose tonight.

Nick barely stopped himself from laughing again. He loved how she believed herself responsible for his safety. At least someone was looking out for him. “Steph, you realize thanks to my military and RCMP specialized training I have the ability to take out many threats, in various painful ways, with deadly accuracy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Scary, tough dude, got it. Be careful, you big galoot, we kinda like having you around.” Steph huffed and punched him in the bicep. This time Nick did laugh.

Once back out in the lobby Nick took the elevator back up to his room in search of condoms. Nick doubted that Aristocat69 would be without supplies of his own, but Nick always wanted to be prepared. Clothes went flying out of his canvas bag as he searched, then found them on the bottom of the bag. He tore the box open, grabbed three, took one last look in the mirror, noting that he needed a haircut, and walked back out the door.

He took the first cab waiting outside the hotel and was off to his inaugural hook-up using crUIzer. He’d used other apps before; in fact, that was where Nick had met one of his longtime hook-up buddies when the guy was in town. CrUIzer was new, with a cool interface, and was easy to navigate. He’d decided to give it a shot; after all, he’d been ordered to enjoy his weekend.

The car pulled up to the front of the sleek hotel. It was a definite step up from his accommodations. Well above his pay grade.

Nick paid the cab driver and got out. People rushed by him as the frosted glass doors swooshed open to an elegant grey-on-grey lobby with a stylish, red, rectangular couch in the centre. Artwork hung on the walls and vases filled with flowers stood scattered around the large room.

Nick looked at his reflection in the mirrored wall across the room and smiled. It was a damn good thing he wasn’t easily intimidated. The fact that his jeans weren’t designer, his boots were scuffed and the jacket he wore wasn’t even worth donating to charity didn’t bother him. He held his head high and smiled wide while walking with purpose toward a bank of gleaming elevators.

A few people gave him a second glance but carried on their way. Over Nick’s years as both a soldier and officer, he’d seen the best and worst there was of humanity. This situation wasn’t even a blip on his radar. As he stood waiting for the elevator with his hands in his pockets, an elderly woman wearing a full-length fur coat came up beside him. He knew a few people who’d have no problem ripping that coat off her for various animal rights reasons. To Nick the fur belonged on its original owner, the animals, but he wasn’t about to attack the woman for wearing it.

She smiled up at him, showing her many laugh lines, and Nick couldn’t help but smile back. “Good evening, ma’am.”

“Good evening,” she replied, her cheeks pinked. Nick thought she was adorable.

The elevator chimed, and the door slid open. Nick raised his arm to block a teenager who was trying to push his way past the older woman and ushered her forward.

“Thank you, young man,” she said as she stepped onto the elevator.

With a nod of his head, Nick let the kid pass and then joined them. He pushed the button for the tenth floor and stood back. Over the next few hours, Nick hoped to lose himself in the arms of a stranger and release a few of the demons he’d been carrying around since the end of his last case.

The kid got off on the sixth floor, the woman the seventh. Soon Nick stood outside Suite 1001 at 9:59 p.m. with a smile on his face. This is a much better way of starting my vacation.

Nick raised his hand and knocked.