Page 6 of Asystole

I need to be all-in on this lecture, but all I can think about is Logan in that chopper.

Pulling out my phone, I fight the urge to fire off another message. I don’t want to come across as clingy, even though I know I am, which is another reason I miss Hanlon so much. He never made me feel bad about it.

It was Hanlon who made me more comfortable showing physical affection for my guy friends in the first place, and he was just as much of a cuddler as I was.

Okay, that last part’s a stretch, but he didn’t mind when I was all up in his space.

As soon as the lecture’s over, Sarah and I stand and begin packing our things as Dr. Jenkins flicks the lights back on.

“So, I’ll see you at study group tonight?” she asks. “I could really use some help with the tibial nail procedure guidelines.”

Sarah is incredibly nice. And gorgeous. And she’s smart as hell. Her path in life mirrors mine, and it would be super easy to picture a future with her, but I doubt my girlfriend of seven years would appreciate that train of thought.

I’m not even sure where it came from, to be honest. I’ve never once thought about stepping out on Kendra. I guess the recent increase in our arguments is taking a toll. We just can’t seem to get on the same page lately, despite what feels like a lifetime of good memories.

A night off from medicine to recenter my thoughts, shoot the shit, and check the social box sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Especially before I can give in to the temptation standing in front of me. I need to make that beer happen with Logan.

“Actually, I’m not going to be able to make it tonight,” I tell Sarah. “But I know Arjun could totally answer your questions.”

Sarah’s smile falters, but she recovers quickly, not pressing the issue.

“Okay, cool. I’ll check with him, thanks. See you tomorrow.”

She scurries out of the conference room, and I open my Messages app, pulling up the number Logan gave me all those years ago. Fuck appearing desperate… I am desperate.

Chase

Hey, it’s Chase Matthews. Heard about the highway landing. Sounds like you and I could both use a night off. Beer tonight? Derringer’s?

My co-residents are great, and I’ve made some incredible friends. There’s something about suffering through these hours and this stress together, knowing we’re doing something a lot of people only dream about, that really bonds us.

But most of them are just like me.

We all feel the weight of the world and our parents’ expectations on our shoulders. We eat, sleep, and breathe medicine. To be fair, we sort of have to if we plan to survive the next five to seven years, but I need something different tonight, and I think Logan can give it to me.

Chapter 3

Logan

Ididn’t spend much time with Chase in Ricochet, but I witnessed enough interactions between him and Hanlon to know he’s relentless when he wants something, and his childlike excitement and easy smile almost always ensure he gets it.

When his most recent text comes in, I briefly think about ghosting him again, but I can picture him standing somewhere with his phone in his hand, that goofy grin on his face, and I already know I’m going to cave.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I type a reply.

Chase

Hey, it’s Chase Matthews. Heard about the highway landing. Sounds like you and I could both use a night off. Beer tonight? Derringer’s?

Logan

Sure. See you at 8.

I’m on the last of my seven twelve-hour shifts before having a week off, and this week has been pretty light, giving me margin for the social outing.

Coming from two previous jobs where the flying demanded a lot more from me, mentally and physically, I find myself getting bored often. Occasionally, some bad weather will make it interesting, but if it gets too severe, they ground the chopper. I only took this job because there’s nothing in Boston that reminds me of either of my previous placements.

Until now.