Page 113 of Asystole

“Chase! Honey, come here! Oh, it’s so good to see you, baby!” Lana Addario cries as she stretches up on her tiptoes to hug me. “Our boy’s all grown up, can you believe it?” she asks as her voice wobbles.

“It’s about time, if you ask me,” I tease, giving her a one-armed hug in return. I don’t want to let go of Logan’s hand, so I don’t.

She playfully bats me on the shoulder once our embrace is over. Her eyes land on Logan and I’s clasped hands, and she smiles.

“Well, what do we have—wait a minute…you look awfully familiar,” she says to Logan.

“Hi, Mrs. Addario. I’m Logan Kirkland. I, um,” Logan uses his free hand to loosen his tie, “flew the helicopter the night⁠—”

Lana holds up her hand.

“Say no more. I’m sorry I didn’t place you right away. I owe you a lifetime of gratitude. I’m glad you were able to make it out for this.”

Logan waves her off.

“You don’t owe me anything. I’m glad it all worked out.”

Lana waggles her eyebrows with a pointed look at our hands, and suddenly, I want Logan closer. I tug him in front of me, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder.

“When did this happen?” she asks.

“Yes,” my mother chimes in. “When did this happen?”

When Lana asks the question, her eyes are full of joy and love, and her voice is sincere.

My mother’s tone, on the other hand, is full of clipped anger and disappointment, and hurt radiates from her eyes.

“Extremely recently, but it’s been building for a while,” I answer.

My dad narrows his eyes and shifts them between Logan and me, and says, “Lana, could you excuse us for a moment?”

Lana nods, but places her hand on my mother’s forearm before she walks away.

“Speaking mother to mother, I know how shocking this news can be, but you’ll save yourself and your family a lot of heartache if you remember that he’s your son above all else and nothing will ever change that. We often say we just want our kids to be happy, and if Logan makes him happy, then consider yourselves lucky. This is one of the kindest, bravest, most selfless men I’ve ever met. Hanlon and Stone are alive today because of him.” Turning to Logan and me, she adds, “No matter what, you two always have a seat at our table.”

And then the woman with the biggest heart—and balls—I’ve ever seen walks away without another glance in my parents’ direction.

“Hanlon makes a lot more sense after that encounter,” Logan says before my father pulls our focus back to him.

“Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean the rules aren’t still in place, Chase. If you’re romantically involved, then he’s a distraction you can’t afford, and I’m not paying for you and your boyfriend to⁠—”

“Let me stop you right there,” I snarl. “This shit ends tonight, Dad. My whole life I’ve been trying to appease you and Mom, make you proud, be the perfect, brilliant machine everyone expects from the two of you. But I’m miserable. I’m changing specialties. I’m doing pediatric oncology, and I don’t care if you like it. Medicine isn’t about the paycheck for me. I’ve been spending all these years investing myself, and for what? A padded bank account? I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to hold the hand of a six-year-old boy while an IV is being placed for the fourth time because his veins are so blown out, they keep collapsing. I don’t expect you to enjoy small talk about his Marvel pajamas or know how rewarding the sound of his laugh is. I’m not asking you to. I’m simply telling you that I do. And those moments are what make medicine great for me. Those moments are what make the rest of the circus worth it. So, from here on out, I don’t want a dime of your money. There is nothing left for you to hold over my head. My choices are my own. I fell in love with Logan; we’re living together, and for the first time since starting medical school, I’m excited about my future.”

When I finish, my dad engages me in the most intense two minutes of eye contact I’ve ever experienced.

It’s obviously not enough time to process everything I just said to him, but he shocks the hell out of me when he finally says, “If you need me to put in a call to ease the transition, let me know.”

That’s the closest thing to ‘I support you’ that I’ve ever gotten from him, and I know enough to accept it as the apology he doesn’t know how to give.

And yet…

“That’s it?” I ask in total bewilderment.

“That’s it,” he confirms before explaining. “Your whole life you’ve worn your heart on your sleeve, Chase, and medicine can be cutthroat. We put the living restrictions on your relationships as a safeguard so you didn’t end up with someone who wanted you for the money you would one day make and inherit. I fear we may have assumed that your kind nature also meant you could be easily manipulated.”

“Ironic,” Chase snorts, “since that’s essentially what you were doing to me to get me to stay in line.”

“It wasn’t about controlling you, son. It was about encouraging the best choices that would help you through these hard years. But your speech just now tells me you’re stronger and more stubborn than we’d thought. That backbone makes me proud. It’s what I’ve wanted to see from you since you were little.”