Page 90 of Married to the Devil

When did this happen? When did it become normal to curl against him?

It feels good though. I can’t pretend like it doesn’t.

Like this is what I was made for.

“I’ll talk to Hattie. I’ll explain to her what she heard.”

“Seriously? How’s that going to work?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “But I’ll come up with something. Even if it’s only halfway true.”

“Hattie’s resilient. Most kids are.”

“Even so. She’s been through enough. I don’t want to be the reason she’s even more scarred than she already is.”

I touch his cheek. “You say you don’t know how to be a father, but it sounds like you have it figured out.”

He puts his hand over mine and nuzzles against my fingers. “You’re wrong. Every day I feel like I’m going to ruin her. Like I’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and she’ll resent me and hate me forever.”

“Be kind to her. Support what she needs. Be a little strict, but not too much. Don’t ever hit her. Don’t insult her. You’ll be okay.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“Well, you missed the infant stage, which means you’re coming in at the best time possible.”

“That was my plan all along.”

I smile to myself and close my eyes. “What was your plan? Seriously, before all this?”

“I was going to watch you.”

“Creepy.”

“But it’s true. I was going to watch you and Hattie grow, and I was going to keep my distance. I wanted you and her to have a normal life. I provided however I could from afar.”

“I have been exceptionally lucky. How many scholarships does a little girl possibly need?”

“I’ve always wondered if you were going to think hard about the money.”

“I didn’t want to, honestly. Felt easier to accept it at face value.”

“That was my plan. Keep sending you what I could. Take care of you in secret. But never get close.”

“Sounds… lonely.”

“Most of my life is lonely.” He breathes against my neck and kisses me, lips tickling my cheek. “I have four brothers and a massive organization, but I’ve always been alone.”

I shift to face him, palm against his chin. “You’re not anymore.”

“I know.” A half-smile. “It has its perks.”

He kisses me. I sink into him, kissing back. This man, who spent all day beating, torturing, and questioning the most dangerous men in his crime family, needs me in a way I’ve never been needed before.

I’ve always had to fix things. I was the den mother before I had Hattie. I grew up fast, took care of Grandma when I was too young to even understand that’s what I was doing, and learned to express my love by being useful.

But that’s not how Rafe needs me.

For once, I’m wanted for who I am, and not for what I can provide.