Page 135 of Jay Bird

“I know.”

“And stopping isn’t failing.”

“I know that too.”

Nova stepped closer. “Then why do you want to do this?”

Because she was tired of freezing.

Willow looked toward the children's room again. Lily had abandoned her crayons and was now standing beside another little girl while they attempted to build a tower taller than both of them.

“I don’t want that to be the one thing someone can use against me forever.”

Nova didn’t respond immediately.

Willow rubbed her palms against her leggings. “Every time someone grabs me from behind, I’m right back there. I know I’m here. I know I’m safe. I know Matt isn’t going to hurt me, but my body doesn’t seem to understand that.”

“That takes time.”

“I know.” Willow drew in a slow breath. “But I want to try again.”

Nova held her gaze for another moment before nodding. “Okay.”

She motioned Matt over and explained what Willow wanted to do. He listened before looking directly at Willow.

“You sure?”

The question shouldn’t have meant as much as it did.

Three years with Chen had taught Willow that what she wanted didn’t matter. Nobody asked permission before touching her. Nobody cared whether she was afraid, uncomfortable, or hurting.

Now, people asked before touching her. Jay Bird asked. Nova asked. Matt asked.

She nodded. “I’m sure.”

“All right.” Matt gestured toward the mat. “You tell me to stop, I stop. Doesn’t matter where we are in the drill.”

“I understand.”

“And I’m not going full strength.”

Willow managed a smile. “I appreciate you not breaking me.”

“I’ve seen Jay Bird.” Matt grinned. “I’m more concerned about him breaking me if I send you home injured.”

Nova snorted.

Willow laughed despite herself. “That’s probably a legitimate concern.”

The humor helped settle her nerves, but they returned the moment Willow stepped onto the mat and turned her back to Matt.

Her heart immediately started beating faster.

Nova moved where Willow could see her.

“Remember what we’ve practiced. He has size and strength. Don’t waste energy fighting either one. Your job is to create space and get away.”

Willow nodded.