Page 31 of Wolf Trial

You hate this arsehole, I reminded myself and tore my stare away. When it returned against my will, this time I found his face. The same cold, frozen blue eyes as his wolf sat in a face made of hard angles and unending hatred. Of course, this prick had to be as hot as hell. A body like that could never happen to a good person, or the world would implode.

I really did despise Lainsz, but damn it was hard to stop looking at him. It was extremely difficult to stop my eyes dipping to where a shadow far bigger than it had any right to be hung between his legs.3

There, he spat. Easy. Now it’s your turn, killer.

Like before, that word made me flinch, and I saw from the narrowing of his eyes that was his intention. What the fuck had I ever done to this guy? No, not me. The academy. The same damn place that nearly got me killed by recruiting me, that was going to get me killed now by a wolf that loathed my bones.

Instead of entertaining Lainsz’s smugness, I turned so I could see all of them. I can’t do that, I protested.

So much for them helping me. All they were doing was taunting me, a reminder that I was stuck now as a wolf forever, and it was only a matter of time before the slayers found me and murdered me.

Verne, Leander said, turning his powerful head to look at the alpha. You’d be the best choice. If I let my wolf out…

Something passed between them, between all three of them. Unspoken, but significant. And it was a sign of how fucked my life was that I had much bigger problems, and let them keep their secrets. If I couldn’t shift back, I would have to live this way forever. Well, until the slayers murdered me. But I didn’t want to live like this for an hour, let alone a day or a week or however long it took them to find me.

I didn’t ask him what would happen if I couldn’t shift back. I didn’t want to know.

The alpha, Verne, stepped forward and all my breaths left my lungs as his eyes settled on mine. A deep instinct, maybe from the wolf side of me, told me to dip my head to break eye contact. Or to drop to my belly in the dirt.

Fuck that, I thought with a scoff, but then my stomach was on the floor, my nose in the grass, in the mud, and—I didn’t remember how I got there.

What’s your name? Verne asked.

None of your fucking business, was my immediate reply. And right after it, Sadie.

What the fuck? I didn’t want to tell him that. I didn’t want them to know anything about me, let alone my name. What was next, my national insurance number? The password to my bank account?

The scent of a wood fire, as comforting and dangerous as any flame, wrapped around my senses as he came closer. I shuddered, fur rippling as he brushed his body against mine again. My eyes slipped shut. There were no words for this feeling. I struggled to find anything comparable to make sense of it.

Eyes on me, alianazara, he said and my eyes opened before I could stop them. This alpha shit was no joke.

Start by reaching inside and finding the place where your wolf lives, he instructed, and I was so desperate to get out of his fur, to be back onto two legs, that I didn’t argue. I kept my eyes on the ashen wolf and felt for that new space inside me, those new instincts, the place that made me want to cry because of this new bond.

Right now, he said, your wolf is in charge. Pacing inside you, making your skin itch, making your emotions volatile. But I want you to imagine wrapping your arms around her, and your wolf calming.

I thought he was mad, but fine. I was ready to entertain madness if it made me human again. I reached into the place that hadn’t existed before today and I imagined it taking the shape of a wolf, huge and impressive, far bigger than these three. So big that my arms couldn’t go all the way around her when I hugged her, resting my cheek on her chest. Her heartbeat thrummed with fear and a hunger for revenge that eclipsed everything else. Yeah, I know the feeling. But I imagined stroking her fur until her shaking stopped, until she lay down on the ground, rested her head on her paws, and slept.

That’s it, Verne said. Exactly like that, Sadie. Keep your wolf calm, and imagine you’re rising to the surface of a lake after being underwater. Your arms will break through first, and then your head, your torso, and finally your legs. The warm water isn’t a threat to you, it isn’t going to hurt you, but you’ve been there long enough now and you want to leave.

I could see it, could almost feel the slow ripples of warm water over my arms, and I imagined kicking my feet as I swam. I didn’t expect it to work, had no faith at all in Verne or myself. But the panicked instincts within me remained lulled, napping, and somehow I managed to find my way to the surface and break free.

The cold hit me first. It slapped my face, dragged fingers through my hair. It bit into my fingertips and toes as I knelt on the ground. I couldn’t stop shaking, shivering, and I was cold to the bone, but when I looked at my fingers through blurry eyes, a sob broke free. I was back. I was me again.

I dragged my fingers through the dirt just to feel them, to feel something real and familiar. It didn't matter that I was cold enough to catch hypothermia, or that my clothes had vanished, or that a thousand different aches erupted from my neck to my shoulders to my ribs, then down past to my knees to my ankles. As if every bone in my body groaned at once. Not quite pain, but overwhelming enough to turn everything else into a dull smear for long moments.

I fumbled at my neck, panic making me clumsy, but I exhaled hard, slumping when my fingers met the warm metal of my necklace.

Something rustled nearby, leaves crunching, and I lifted my aching eyes—and my stare latched onto the three men who had been wolves only minutes ago.

They were no longer pale and furry, no longer possessed paws and teeth that could rip me apart. If I didn’t know these were shifters, I would’ve thought they were human. I never would have known, and that was enough to make my stomach churn. How was I supposed to know who was human or wolf, safe or a threat?

More to the point, why was I worrying about that now? When the more pressing issue was these men deciding they didn’t want me alive after all. That, and the people who ran Lunova Academy finding us. What if the professor investigating Fioranna’s death found me? I couldn’t recognise a wolf, but they trained for years at the academy. Would they take one look at me and know?

“Yes,” a familiar voice said, except louder and more baritone. That was Verne’s voice; out loud, there was a resonance to it, a deeper vibration. “They’ll be able to smell it on you,” he confirmed my worst nightmare.

So my options were never to go back to the Academy that tried to murder me, or stay here with three wolf strangers who would also try to murder me, or keep me as their so-called mate.

What did that mean anyway? All I knew about soulmates was when people went to Gran Canaria and slept with a guy they barely knew, and for the rest of their life called this guy their soulmate. Or couples that had been together since school, and were convinced their souls were bound together. Something told me these wolves had a different definition.