Page 95 of His Forgotten Highland Bride

Physical. The distinction caused Brenna to step back as the other men filled in around their laird. They were loud with their exuberance, making it easy enough for Brenna to slip back into the shadows.

Her husband didn’t suffer from physical pain, but he was telling her he still hurt. Because she had lost their child.

Eventually, the men quieted down. Gabe and Malcolm announced they would go collect the horses.

“Brimstone is somewhere close,” Ronan said.

Hugh offered to go look for him while Will looked down to the bodies lying on the stones.

“We shall bury my mother. As for Ewan, he shall be left here to feed the vultures and animals. He’ll not sully the Grant kirkyard with his mangey corpse,” Ronan said adamantly.

“I’ll see to your mother,” Hugh said with a nod.

With all the men otherwise busy, she and Ronan were left standing there alone. He came closer, limping heavily on his injured leg.

“You should sit.”

“Nay. I must walk around to loosen it up. Will you walk with me?”

She nodded and followed along as he took an overgrown path along the cliff’s edge. When they could no longer see the castle, he turned to her, his eyes filled with sadness.

“I’m so sorry,” she blurted as he opened his mouth to speak. She had no idea what he might say, but she needed him to know how terribly sorry she was she had lost their babe and disappointed him.

“Whatever would you have to apologize to me for?”

“I lost the babe. I didn’t realize I was with child for some time, and I didn’t take care like I should have right away. I rode every morning. If I hadn’t…maybe…”

“Brenna, no.” He let out a breath and placed his cool hand on her cheek. “Did ye think that was the pain I suffered?” He shook his head. “Christ, can I do nothing right by you?”

He walked in a tight circle and returned to stand before her. “Before I tell you what I have learned, you need to know that from the moment I learned about our child, I did not blame ye, lass. Never. I only blamed myself for not being here when you needed me. And now…’tis clear you needed me more than I realized. Not just to mourn our loss, but to have protected you from it in the first place. Had I been here, he never would have…”

His hands curled into tight fists, and he cursed Ewan’s name to the devil.

“He did it, Brenna. He poisoned ye with a potion so you would lose the babe. He couldn’t risk our son being the heir. He caused you nothing but pain, and I—I brought him back to our home and judged you for tossing him out, the man who killed our child. I embraced him as family and…”

He rubbed roughly at his face, clearly dismayed. She stepped forward and took his hand, squeezing it in both of hers.

“He was clever, Ronan. He tricked many people, including your grandsire.”

She breathed, noticing how much easier it was to do without the constant weight of guilt on her chest. All this time she’d been told she’d done nothing wrong, and on some level she of course knew it to be true. But now, knowing it was Ewan’s doing, it seemed easier to let it drift away.

Except it seemed it stayed pretty close. For every pound of guilt she shed, it appeared her husband was taking it on himself. “Ronan?”

He looked at her, and she saw the pain and guilt pressing in on him.

“We must leave this behind us. Here in this place with the man that caused it.”

“I caused it,” he nearly yelled. “I wasn’t here where I should have been. At your side.”

“I forgive you,” she whispered urgently.

He choked. “Ye can’t forgive me. I haven’t even come up with a way to properly apologize for all I’ve done to ye. From the very first day we met when I told my grandfather I didn’t want to marry ye and preferred your witch of a sister, I’ve done every single thing wrong. You deserve better than this, Brenna.”

“Then offer your apology and tell me we can leave all of this sadness behind us. I don’t want to carry it into the rest of our life together. Ewan has stolen enough from us already. I want a fresh start. Together. What do you want?”

He stared at her for what felt like a long time. Eventually, he took a steadying breath and squared his shoulders.

“Brenna Grant, please forgive me for all the ways I have wronged ye. For leaving you all those years. For not reading your letters or writing you back. For not protecting you from Ewan. For treating you so horribly when I returned and not asking to hear your side of things. For leaving you a second time when it seemed impossible to move forward. For allowing even one second of doubt that I blamed you for what happened. And probably most of all for not making sure you knew how very pleased I am to have you for my wife. I promise to do better. Please forgive me.”