Page 77 of Discovering Her Earl

“This is why you wanted to come to Egypt?”

“Yes. One grand adventure of my own choosing before I’m forced into the life he has selected for me.” He rubbed his forehead. “I have no choice. Which is exactly how he planned it, I’m sure.”

He pulled away and walked in a circle, clearly agitated as he discussed his father.

“My bastard of a father who has been dead for years continues to control me from beyond the grave. I must marry a proper countess.”

Proper. She honed in on that word.

He swallowed and looked her in the eye. Neither of them needed to say with words what they both knew.

She would never be a proper countess.

“I’m sorry,” she offered because she could see the pain this caused him.

“You’re sorry? You have nothing to apologize for. I should have told you sooner. Before I’d kissed you. Before I’d touched you. But I am at least honorable enough to bring a halt to this before it goes too far. I will not take your virtue knowing I cannot offer marriage.”

She shook her head.

“I would never force you to marry me. Especially now that I know what you stand to lose if you did.”

“But what I would gain…” He looked away and shook his head furiously. “The man never approved of anything I did. Never a kind word of praise. Not one murmur of encouragement. And now he will take this from me too. Take you from me.”

Seeing his anguish and hearing his words of regret steeled her decision.

She leaned up to kiss him, the touch of her lips calmed him instantly. She pulled away to look into the blue depths of his gaze.

“Take me to your quarters, Julian.”

He blinked and his brows pulled together.

Making sure he understood exactly what she planned, she swallowed before saying, “Make love to me.”

“I cannot. I won’t do that to you.”

“You wanted to come to Egypt to gain an experience you will never have again. I granted it. I am asking only for the same thing. I am three and twenty with no future prospects. I am asking you to give me this experience that I will never have again, so I too can have my own memory to treasure.”

He looked miserably torn as he studied her face, his eyes flickering back and forth as if he was looking for something to dispute her words. He wouldn’t find anything because she was resolved to this course.

She wanted him. Even knowing it would not result in a future with him.

“We only have now, Julian. Let’s not waste it.”

Her words seemed to unlock something inside of him and when he pulled her against him and kissed her, she realized he had been restraining much of his passion until now.

He pulled back, his breathing already ragged.

“I want to do the honorable thing and refuse, but you are not an impressionable maid. I have to trust that you know what you want.”

“I do know. I want this.”

“Then what right do I have to think I know what is better for you? I would be as bad as my sire dictating my will on others.”

She nodded.

“I will take precautions, Lainey, but are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes. I understand.”