Page 50 of Winning Her Duke

“I know. People often confuse the reasons for marrying quickly. Either the couple has already presumed their vows and is in danger of an accelerated pregnancy, or the couple doesn’t wish to presume their vows and is jumping at the bit to do so.” She smiled. “In reality, it is only the most dispassionate marriages that make it through the banns.”

Gia patted Lydia’s hand knowing she spoke of her own nuptials and the passionless marriage she’d shared with her late husband.

“Your father and I are very close and while he would probably burst from embarrassment to have you know this, I think you should. Both of your parents were chaste when they went into their marriage.”

“Truly?”

“Yes. They were very much in love and couldn’t wait to share that love in a physical way. Thus, the speedy marriage.”

Gia nodded. “That must be a wonderful feeling.”

Lydia tilted her head to the side. “I believe Lord Rhinehart acted ungentlemanly this evening, but I don’t think he has caused this deep pain. He’s no one important enough to touch you this way.”

Gia let out a breath. “It is ridiculous, but I think I have feelings for Hale. That is, the Duke of Roxburghe.”

“Why is that ridiculous?”

“Because I know he doesn’t wish to marry. I know he doesn’t think of me as anything other than a friend. He may not be as much of a rogue as everyone expects, but I’m certain he seeks out only experienced women to take to his bed. Why would I expect him to want any more than friendship from our acquaintance? It’s something a silly girl would hope for. I’m not silly and I’m not a girl. How could I have let this happen? I don’t even want to marry.”

She winced and squeezed Lydia’s hand.

“I know you want that for me, but I am happy to be in the country with my horses. I don’t wish for more than that.”

“Are you certain?” Lydia asked.

“Yes.” Gia tried to sound certain, but heard her voice waver.

The tears returned and Gia wrapped her arms around her stomach to hold herself together.

“You seem to think we have a choice in who we allow into our hearts. And in many cases, you might even be right. We can put up walls to protect ourselves. We can keep certain people at a distance. But others… I think the people who are meant to be in our lives are impossible to hold back. They find all the weaknesses in our walls and simply stroll in. There is nothing to be done for it, but to hope they realize what an honor they have been given and love us back.”

“He cannot.”

“He might.”

“He won’t.”

“We’ll see.” Lydia patted Gia’s leg under the covers and smiled before standing. “Get some rest. I have a feeling he will be calling on you tomorrow.”

Gia managed a fitful sleep. She was too tired to go riding in the morning. And she knew she was not ready to see Hale. If he even came.

She couldn’t decide if she wanted to confront him or would rather hide away. She’d never been a coward before. She could face down the most irritable stallion with a calm hand. But Hale…

She didn’t want this.

No. She didn’t want to want this.

Throwing back the covers, she called for Bess to help her get ready for the day. The duke had done nothing wrong. He hadn’t promised anything more than friendship.

He had not hurt her. She had allowed herself to be hurt. He was not to be punished.

By the time she was ready, she felt strong enough to handle her reaction to him if he were to visit. She decided somewhere between the tightening of her corset and the restraining of her hair, that she wasn’t willing to lose Hale as a friend because she was too weak to accept what he was willing to offer. He was the best friend she’d ever had and she wouldn’t want anything more.

*

The drawing room at Tomison House was overflowing with men and the sweet, cloying scent of dozens of flowers with rivaling fragrances.

What the devil was all of this?