Page 41 of The Highland Heir

“Have you been here before?” she asked.

“Aye. ’Tis called Hill House, for the rockslook like roofs.” He assisted her up the steep incline to the nextlevel and probably the deepest recess. The walls were marked withsoot from previous fires. He set her bedroll off to one side of thearea and carried his own to the farthest side away from her.

She wasn’t sure if he didn’t trust her orhimself. Mayhap both of them were in danger from the other. Itseemed they both wanted something, and with that silent agreement,it meant no one would be capable of reason when called upon.

“Since we are not wet, we don’t need a fire.Let us just sleep and be on our way at first light so we can gethome,” he said with more than a hint of frustration.

For the first time since she had decided toreturn home with him, she wondered if she’d made the right choice.If she’d stayed behind, they would not be in this situation.

“You are angry,” she said. He hadn’t raisedhis voice since his heated admission, but he was not his smilingself either.

“I-I’m angry with myself, Ella. Not withyou,” he admitted. His shoulders fell as if all the fight haddrained out of him.

He was never angry with her, despite all thethings she’d done that should have angered him as children. He wasever patient and kind. It was as comforting as it wasirritating.

“We did nothing wrong,” she said. “You arenot yet wed. You’ve taken no vows.”

“I know that. And since she is a stranger, Iowe her nothing more until I take those vows, but it’s still wrongof me to put us in a position to want things we canna have.”

She nodded. She understood and was grateful.Or wanted to be. But part of her only saw what she could have andwhat she wanted. And what she might regret if they didn’t use theirtime together to the fullest.

The rain started in earnest, tapping on thestone edge not covered by the rocks above it. They were safe anddry where they were.

The storm took the last of the light, andsoon she was lying on her furs in complete darkness as the stormraged outside their shelter. It may not have been cold enough for afire, but the damp air and the cool rock under her caused a chill.She wished to be able to curl up next to Kieran as she had on theirway to Kildary.

But everything had changed. If they were thatclose now, one of them would surely give in and kiss the other.Most likely her. Of the two of them, she was the weaker inthis.

Strange, since she’d always thought it wasmen who could not resist their base urges. She recalled the womenin the hall serving the men with an inviting smile. Perhaps thetruth of the matter was that men were better able to resist suchpleasure than women were.

Well, she would not make a fool of herselfagain. She remained on her fur the whole night and must have fallenasleep at some point, for she woke to a bright, sunny morning andKieran gathering up his things.

He’d said he wanted to leave at first light,but it was later as the sun was fully in the sky. The storm hadleft behind an earthy scent in the forest.

“I’ll help you down,” Kieran said in the samestiff voice he’d used the night before. He took her arm only longenough for her to land on the ground next to him before he steppedback and pointed. “There is a small stream in that direction.”

She opened her mouth to say something butclosed it when the right words did not come.

As she took care of necessities and washed,she wondered if mayhap this wasn’t better. To allow this distanceto grow between them. It might make it easier later when they couldno longer spend time together. She’d originally thought it best touse the most of their time, but perhaps it was best to prepare forthe inevitable end of them.

Ella hated crying, but she allowed a fewtears to fall before she went back to the horses and to the man shewas not ready to let go of.

*

All night Kieran had wanted to go to her, orfor Ella to come to him, but neither had acted. He’d thought it forthe best, but now, as they rode for home, he didn’t like how thingshad been left.

Eventually, he could stand it no longer andhe stopped his horse.

To allow them to go on as they were wouldmean the end of their friendship. He could see that now. Knew wherethis destructive silence would lead.

Ella stopped a distance away. She’d been nextto him earlier but had drifted behind at some point. He felt as ifhe was losing her already.

“What is it?” she asked when he got down fromhis horse and came back to her.

“Get down.” He reached for her before she hada chance to argue, and with a flick of the reins both horses werehobbled so they could graze in the field next to the forest.

“Are you hungry?” she asked. “Because I’ve notarts left.”

“Nay, I’m not hungry,” he said but thenreconsidered the question. “Yes. I am hungry. But not forfood.”