Page 83 of Will to Run

“So much I didn’t mean. I just wanted him to shut up. I needed him to shut up so I could do payroll,” I try to justify it to myself. “You know how relentless he is. I agreed with him to get him to stop. I figured I’d revisit it…”

“What did you say?” she pushes.

“Let’s see. The thing that probably sent her was when I said she was paying rent and putting out…”

The gasp my sister lets out could be heard around the ranch.

“Or maybe it’s because I referred to our relationship as partaking in some bonuses…”

“She heard you say that?” my sister cut me off.

Slowly, my head nods because it sounds even worse the second time around.

“Yeah, she’s gone. And rightfully so. I can’t believe you said that, Jaxon Wills. You’ve never been disrespectful like that.”

“I didn’t mean it,” I try to defend myself as Molly walks back in.

“Hey, Mol,” my sister says. “What would you do if you overheard someone you were seeing say that you were paying rent and putting out? Calling you a bonus?”

Molly’s head snaps towards me. “You didn’t.”

I’m frozen as I await their deserved vitriol.

“I know you’re not the smartest of the four, but that’s a new low. I’d not only be gone, but I’d be doing something vindictive. That’s tire-slash or fish in the air ducts territory. Maybe even sugar in the gas tank.” She looks at my sister with a raised eyebrow, and Hazel is nodding in agreement back.

“Wait,” the record scratches. “Have you done any of those?” I ask the two of them. Because that is undoubtedly something they would have done together. I’m trying to tally their exes and if I heard a rumor about something like that happening.

“We’re not judging us right now. We’re judging you. And your monumental fuck-up,” she says. “Honestly, I don’t think I’d be able to come back from that. Not after only being together for such a short time. You’d need at least a year together to believe those weren’t truthful statements. But if you had that much time together, you wouldn’t be dumb enough to say that shit in the first place.”

It’s useless to try to tell the two of them that yes, she’s only been here a stupidly short time, but what we have is so much more. It’s like when people get told they have old souls. This relationship is the equivalent of that. We are just two people who are meant to be together.

“We should go check on her,” Molly says.

“Can you tell her I’m sorry?” I ask.

She and Hazel give me the same look.

“Just try, okay?” I insist. Why won’t they even try?

“Sure, Jax,” Hazel sighs.

“Why did you come over, anyway?” I ask, realizing I have no idea what even brought them to my house.

Hazel doesn’t skip a beat. “We came to steal Della because we figured she was here. But let the record show, it really sucks when someone tries to insert themselves into a situation they aren’t welcome.”

My head drops, and I look at the floor. She’s referring to last night when my brothers and I barged into a gathering she was having, and made her look like fool. She’s absolutely correct.

When they’re gone, I raise my head to look at the photos I have displayed and feel ill. Two new ones were added last weekend. One is a shot of Del sitting on the fence for the sunrise. She’s glowing, looking at the camera with the signature smile that makes her dimple pop.

The other is a photo of us at the welcome-back party. It’s a candid snapshot that Molly took, and we’re looking at each other laughing. She had sent it to me that night asking where the mixed signals were. When I close my eyes, I am back in the moment and can hear the sound.

The perfect moment with the perfect girl.

And I reduced her to paying rent and putting out.

I’ve never hated myself more.

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