Page 56 of The Silent Princess

“Sure. Just bear with me… I picture myself on a battlefield, standing above their dead bodies, and their words are just a rumble of nonsense I cannot even hear because I have other soldiers to protect and enemies to kill. So I see their words, their attacks, as just…noise, letters floating in the air with no real meaning.”

“How did you learn to do that?”

“A friend taught me. Matt. We were in juvie together. He went into the military after and learned a lot about mental prep, which he then taught me during our weekly sparring sessions.” She seems to absorb that information, that I wasn’t always in a mansion living the one percent lifestyle.

“If I had to picture a place then… I’d love to…to imagine a beach,” she signs after a moment, as if offering me something gentler in return, “and put a chair right in the water so that I could dip my feet in it.”

“Why not swim?”

“Uh…I can’t. I can’t.”

I pause.

“I’d teach you.”

“No. It’s too scary, and people could make fun of me.”

“I’ll teach you, Ella. At home. I have a pool. No one will be there to judge.”

“In…swimsuit?”

“No, in gym clothes.” She pushes my chest with the tip of her finger. “In a swimsuit, in my house, with no one to bother us, and I would be laser-focused on teaching you. I promise.” And I mean it, because the last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable. Teaching her how to swim could be a great test of trust for her with me, to see that not only I can control myself, but I can give her time and attention despite running Ashford Holdings. I do not have time. But I will make time.

“What’s stopped you from swimming ?”

“No one ever taught me and-” she hesitates, “if I can’t see my feet then…I’m afraid someone could pull me under. Like grab my ankle and take me to the bottom of the ocean.”

“That’s irrational,” I remark.

“If you think this is irrational-” she stops, her brows shooting up.

“Are they others?” I ask, as she blushes, like showing me her true self could be embarrassing. You could not be more wrong sweetheart. I want to know every corner of yourself, every fear, and every way I could help you overcome them.

“Tsunamis. We should all be so much more concerned about them.”

“In…Westhaven?” I’m trying to stay stoic but my girl is making it hard not to laugh.

“Everywhere.”

“What…”

“Can you imagine a wave the size of four buildings?”

“Ella, sweetheart, I don’t think, given our geographic position, that this is a concern you should have. Do you often think about that?”

“No. Not at all.” She shrugs.

“How often?”

“Daily.”

“Ella.”

“I can’t help it. I saw it on the news, it was happening in Thailand once, and I can’t erase it. I even thought about scenarios to hide and survive in case. For the last ten years, it has been a major concern.” She admits, biting a smile and perhaps relating how delusional it is.

“Okay, okay. But just so you know, you’re safe here. If you do not plan on moving out of the country, I think you are pretty safe regarding the chances of encountering one.”

“You think so?”