Page 11 of Forbidden to Fall

“Sorry,” I gasped out through something that was half-laugh, half-pain. “I just…forgot how to stand up.” Slowly, I forced my knees to unbend, fully expecting them to squeak like a rusty hinge.

James released my elbow and stepped back.

I looked up once I was able to focus on something other than my discomfort.

He watched me with a frown. It was the frown that had appeared after his dad had died, but it was deeper now. More settled, like it had originally come for a visit but decided to take up residence on his face.

His eyes flitted to the cupboard behind me, a question in them.

Heat slinked into my cheeks. “It’s a long story.”

I made dumb choices. That was the story.

The more I looked at James, the more different he seemed. He’d been 21 when he’d left Autumn Ridge—technically, an adult. At the time, I’d marveled at how grown up he’d become since high school.

But he was 29 now, and his 29 made his 21 look like 15.

His entire body had filled out. This was a man who’d gone places and done things—heavy lifting certainly among them.

James was looking at me too, taking quiet inventory in a way that made me aware of my wavy red hair and the extra freckles I’d gained over the past few years from helping out at Horseshoe Holler.

But eight years hadn’t wrought the same level of change on me as it had on him. I’d stayed in Autumn Ridge and was still doing the same things I’d been doing when he left. I was the same Sadie he’d never much noticed.

No. That wasn’t entirely true. I was different in one important way, at least: I was one giant crush lighter than I’d been when he’d last seen me.

Everything that had happened between Ryan and him had put that infatuation to bed at long last. Disbelief and denial over his behavior had ultimately given way to disappointment—and a realization that I’d given my precious, angsty teenage love to someone who hadn’t deserved it.

After another moment of mutual inspection, he turned away.

“Does your mom know you’re here?” I asked.

He turned back toward me, a glint of amusement in his dark eyes. “Yeah.”

It seemed like a stupid question on the surface. It wasn’t, though. “It’s just…she didn’t warn me.”

The amusement went out of his eyes like an ember under a jug of water.

My word choice had been unfortunate. I hadn’t meant warn like he was a threat. I just thought she’d have mentioned it, especially given our conversation the other day.

When we’d talked about how often May saw James, it would’ve been a natural time to mention that, not only had he returned a couple of times in the past, he’d be back soon. Or had he already arrived at that point?

“That doesn’t surprise me.” His frown deepened. “I didn’t even know you talked to Mama anymore.”

Mama. I’d forgotten he called her that.

“We’re…working on something together.” My stomach clenched. With James here, I was second-guessing my idea more than ever. It had already felt like borderline betrayal when it was just May; with James, it felt like full-on rebellion against Ryan, his wife Lily, and my family. “How long are you in town?”

He gave a barely audible scoff that seemed to say of course you’d ask that question. He turned away again and walked to the door. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll be gone in a couple of days.” He pushed through the door.

“Wait.”

He stopped but didn’t turn around.

I fumbled with…no words. I didn’t even know why I’d stopped him.

Maybe it was because I thought I’d offended him, and I hated doing that, even to James Carver. Maybe it was because I realized just how many questions I had. Seeing him in the flesh after so long reminded me how confused I’d been when the kind person I thought I’d known had hurt my brother so badly—and then disappeared.

“Thank you,” I said. “For…extricating me.”