Page 204 of On the Breakaway

I shake my head. “No, that’s not–”

“What am I supposed to think when you looked at me earlier like I’d proved every doubt in your head right?”

The question is quiet and a thousand times more devastating than yelling would’ve been. The pain behind his words slices straight through me, and I can’t even deny it. Because I did exactly what he’s accusing me of. I’ve let my fear rule me for so long that when everything happened earlier, I panicked.

And when I took that half step backward away from him, I’d done exactly what he was worried about me doing. But I need to make him see that it won’t happen again.

“You’re right,” I admit. “It scared me that you broke a promise to me and did something so out of character and reckless. I was angry and confused. I let that fear keep me from you, but I wasn’t trying to leave.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

I force myself to keep going.

“I’ve spent the past year convincing myself that I would never do this again. That I couldn’t do this again.”

Couldn’t hand over that much of myself ever again.

Couldn’t love someone.

“I know.”

“No.” I shake my head. “You don’t. Because the truth is that I spent so much time worrying about all of the reasons this would never work that I wasn’t paying attention to what was actually happening.”

The car feels suffocating and small. His eyes blaze into mine, still glistening with unshed tears, but something like hope flickers across his face.

It’s just us here.

There’s nowhere left to hide.

“I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was certain you’d disappoint me.”

Pain flashes across his face.

“You told me tonight that I was looking for an excuse. Maybe I was, not to leave, but to protect myself from needing you.”

“Avery–”

“Let me finish.”

He falls silent.

“I spent months looking for reasons not to love you, terrified of what might happen if I fell for you. But Grayson, I’ve already fallen.”

His entire body stills, and I’m not entirely sure he’s even breathing.

“I love you.”

“Don’t say that unless you mean it.” His voice comes out rough, like he’s close to tears.

“I love you, Grayson.”

I can hear my own heartbeat racing as the words settle between us. It feels like exhaling after holding my breath for months, so I say it again.

“I love you.” My voice breaks this time. “I love that you always show up. I love that you don’t let me run. I love your stupid sexy glasses. And your actual cooking. And I even love that you’re always kidnapping me.”

A tear slips down my cheek.

“I just love all of it. All of you.”