Page 86 of Don’t Be A Stranger

I wouldn’t consider being forty-five old but hey, what do I know?

Because Dad has finally admitted this all to me, I feel the need to admit something of my own. Something I’ve only ever told River.

“I was scared.” My voice shakes. “I was scared to come home because I felt so useless. There wasn’t anything I could do to fix you. You’ve always been the strongest person I know and seeing you like that terrified me, Dad. I was just scared that I’d try everything I could and I’d still lose you.”

I don’t bother to fight back my tears anymore. I’ve never needed to with my parents.

Dad pats the spot on the bed next to him and I don’t hesitate to climb in. I wrap my arms around him, taking in his familiar scent of cinnamon that’s hiding underneath the smell of iodine and medical-grade rubber.

“I’m really sorry for not being here sooner, Dad,” I mumble into his chest.

“And I’m sorry for not telling you the truth, Lovie.” He kisses my forehead. “But we’re going to be okay.”

Neither of us say anything else. We don’t need to. The television takes up enough of the silence. My eyes begin to grow heavy. It’s been hard to sleep for the past few days, not just because I’ve been worried about Dad but also River.

No, I don’t need to worry about River right now.

Between the incoherent words from the movie and Dad’s warmth, I’m pretty sure I can pass out right here and finally get some rest.

The door slowly opens and Papi walks in, now with a cup of coffee. He freezes in his tracks. Then he smiles.

“I was gone for ten minutes and you guys started cuddling without me?” he quietly gasps.

Dad and I laugh. Papi sets his coffee down and takes the spot I was sitting in before moving closer to the bed and resting his head on my leg and his hand on Dad’s.

It’s quiet. The peaceful kind, not the one that terrifies me half to death because I feel like the other shoe is about to drop. I slowly start to believe Dad’s words. He’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. Nothing in this moment can hurt me. Not when my parents start quietly humming the one lullaby that would put me to sleep as a kid.

My dads hum the familiar melody of “Chanda Hai Tu, Mera Suraj Hai Tu.”

And everything finally feels like it’ll be alright.

Twenty-Nine

Summer

I try to sit patiently and listen as the doctor gives us the rundown on Dad’s treatment and tells Papi and me to keep an eye on Dad—as if we needed a reminder.

My foot taps against the vinyl tile, the anticipation to get out of here taking over.

Papi was the only one who could stay with Dad for the first two days. Then when Dad was deemed stable enough, I spent every visiting hour here. So, it’s not like I’ve been trapped in the hospital for four days straight but I’m dying to get out of here.

And I’m excited to finally see Lily. We decided that seeing each other while Dad was in the hospital wasn’t the best idea, just because I was trying not to come in contact with pretty much anyone, to prevent Dad from getting any sicker.

But now? We can’t seem to get home fast enough.

“Good luck.” Dr. Oswald smiles softly. “Let me know if there’s anything you need.”

The three of us thank him and I’m already pushing Dad out of the room in the wheelchair he’s forced to sit in on the way out.

Papi hangs back, talking to the nurse. I was hoping no one would notice just how fast I’m going. Dad hasn’t said anything but he does laugh.

“Mija,” Papi calls from down the hallway. “Slow down. Lily isn’t going anywhere.”

I throw my head back and groan, but I still listen and slow my pace. Dad reaches for one of my hands, squeezing.

“I appreciate the fast and furious driving, sweetheart.”

We finally get into the car and the twenty-minute drive home feels like it’s taking forever. I like chatting with my parents and I’ve missed sitting in the backseat, laughing with them. But I can love being with my parents and also be excited to see my best friend.