Page 72 of Don’t Be A Stranger

It feels like she’s telling herself more than me but I nod along with her anyway.

The sudden sound of someone doing a cannonball makes me look around the obnoxiously large backyard. I don’t know most of the people here but I’m not going to say no to free drinks and taking a dip in one gorgeous pool. Moose and River stand across the pool, talking to some guys from the basketball team—at least I think that’s what Moose said.

River is wearing nothing but his swim trunks. His hair is damp and brushed back after taking a dip in the pool. I’ve had to stop myself multiple times from asking River if he needs to head inside where the sun isn’t so bright. Apparently, I’m somehow convinced that the dark sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose aren’t doing enough to keep his eyes from overexposure.

River is an adult, I remind myself. He can decide when something is too much for him.

It’s hard to fight the urge to drag him inside, sit him in a dark room, and reach into my bag to give him all the ibuprofen I have to beat the inevitable migraine.

“Summer.” Bethany extends her leg to nudge my foot with hers. “What’s going on between you two?”

Oh, would you look at that. It’s about time for me to put on more sunscreen.

Bethany reaches over and snatches the bottle of sunscreen from my hand. I was hoping that she forgot I put some on five minutes ago.

“I already told you.” I sigh. “There’s nothing going on, Beth. This is just how we are.”

I can feel her staring at me, but I don’t dare to look away from Kacey, the girl who has become everyone’s personal bartender. Right now, she’s busying herself with making Jeanette a drink.

With this recent news of Bethany staying in Japan for a while instead of coming back, I figure that by the time I see her again—if I ever do—maybe it won’t be so awkward if I just admit what’s been happening this summer.

I can’t tell Lily and it’s been driving me crazy. I need to get this off my chest. Here’s to hoping Bethany keeps her lips sealed.

“Do you think two people can sleep together and still stay friends?” I blurt out.

“Oh.” Bethany freezes. “Oh.”

I wince, daring to look up at her but she’s not looking at me. Well, not only at me. She’s looking between River and me.

“Are you sure you even want to stay friends?” Bethany asks and my spine straightens.

“Of course I want to stay friends with River. He’s my best friend, Beth.”

She grins and I can’t take back the fact that I’ve just flat out admitted what’s been going on between River and me. But I don’t think I even want to. I’ve been holding all of this in for so long that it feels like my chest has deflated, just from finally being able to say this out loud.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Bethany grins wider. “I meant that to me it kind of looks like you want a little more than that.”

I’ve gone from wanting to avoid this entire thing between us to now feeling like it’s inevitable.

River is standing in front of me and the urge to go over there and tell him that I don’t want us to end in a few weeks is strong. I want to see what would happen if we carried this into the fall. And winter. And spring.

Not just sex.

I want more. I want everything.

I run my finger along the bracelet River picked out for me a few days ago. The pearls are white but the braided fabric is my least favorite color.

Yellow.

I didn’t have the heart to tell River otherwise, not when he’s wearing a matching one.

“Maybe you should tell him,” Bethany says.

I look away from River and back to Bethany. She smiles at me and uses my words from earlier against me. “If anyone can do it, Summer, it’s you guys.”

“What if he doesn’t want that?”

Want me?