Page 40 of Don’t Be A Stranger

I nod and Estelle blows me a few kisses before giving Lily one on the forehead, mumbling that they need to get going. Once Estelle walks away, Lily’s shoulders fall, having kept them held high only so she wouldn’t alarm her grandmother.

Fine, I guess I’m taking a flight to Rome just so I can sit next to Lily and distract her from every anxiety inducing thought she’s having.

“I guess I’ll talk to you later,” Lily sighs.

“Yeah, okay.” I lower my voice. “I promise everything will feel so much better when you’re back home, Lils.”

She shrugs, almost like she doesn’t believe that anything could possibly get better anymore. I want to beg her to remember her promise that she wouldn’t leave me. That she’d stick around and not end up back in the psych ward, but I’d selfishly take that over never seeing her again.

“Love you lots.” My voice is on the verge of cracking but I keep my composure.

“Love you tons.”

It’s not just a River and I thing. It’s an all of us thing.

Lily and I both wave before she hesitantly ends the call.

I stare at my phone screen, my reflection looking back at me. I’m starting to think that maybe I should go back home. If not to see both my dads then to see Lily. It’s not that I didn’t even want to go in the first place. I cried the second I sent the text to Papi that I wouldn’t be making it home for the summer, but I don’t know how to watch the people I love struggle when there’s nothing I can do about it.

I can’t get rid of Dad’s cancer, just like I can’t magically make Lily’s mental illness go away. I hate that I don’t have the power to do anything with every fiber of my being. Being far away feels safer than not being able to fix them when I’m right there.

Bethany pokes her head from behind the glass doors. “Summer? Can you help me fold these napkins?” Her voice softens as her gaze settles on me. “Everything okay?”

I quickly clear my throat and push off the wall. “Yeah, sorry, I just had a call I needed to take.”

Bethany steps closer. “Is it your dad?”

I felt comfortable enough to tell Bethany about Dad’s lung cancer, only because she lost her twin brother due to pancreatic cancer. But I’m not quite sure how to tell her that I’m coming to realize I’m an awful friend and daughter for not having the answers to problems that I’m too terrified to face.

“Oh, no.” I quickly shake my head, trying to keep my voice steady. “I was just on the phone with a friend.”

Bethany raises her eyebrow. “Are you already having withdrawals from River? I thought that living with him would put an end to that.”

“Not that friend,” I groan, deciding to ignore as much of that comment as possible. We do not live together. I’m just temporarily staying at the apartment. “My best friend, Lily.”

I hold the door open for Bethany. We pass through the front lobby, purposely giving Cruella our most obnoxious smiles. It only makes it more exciting with how thrilled she looks to be here before six in the morning.

“Is Lily one of your friends back in Vermont?” Bethany asks.

“Yeah, Lils and I were actually best friends before we met River.”

“Damn.” Bethany’s eyes widen. “And I thought knowing my best friends for three years was a long time.”

Right, Sarah and Denise.

Bethany usually spends most of her time with them during the school year. I’ve only met Sarah a few times and kicked a guy in the balls once for Denise. He was drunk and wouldn’t take no for an answer. From the stories Bethany has told me, I’m sure Denise could have handled it herself, but all I saw was a drunk girl trying to shove a guy off and I saw red.

Bethany and I make it back to the dining room and I start helping her fold each napkin intricately at every table. I notice that Bethany has done almost half of the tables and I feel kind of bad that I went to go take a call, but not bad enough to promise to ignore a call from Lily ever again.

“So…” Bethany eases into a conversation I’m not sure I want to have, judging by her suspicious tone. “What was with you and River the other night?”

Yeah, I knew that was coming.

I haven’t seen Bethany in three days—since karaoke night—and thankfully she’s been too busy doing god knows what to have the time to text me.

“What do you mean?” I choose to play dumb.

“You were all over him at karaoke.”