Page 135 of Twisting Beauty

Before I knew what was happening, he’d caught up to me and was dragging me back into my bedroom.

The door shut behind him, trapping us both in here. In this room. Back at the scene of my shame.

“I’d like you to leave,” I said, dumping my bag to the floor and crossing my arms over my chest. I refused to look at him.

“No.”

“Get out of my room.”

“Gray.” His voice had dropped, gone careful. “Look at me.”

He closed the distance between us, stopping close enough that the toes of his boots almost touched mine. His hand came up under my jaw, and he turned my face to his, forcing me to face him.

He stared right into me. Seeing me. Being seen like this felt too raw.

“You think I rejected you,” he said.

The shame came up so hard my face heated under his fingers. I tried to pull back.

He didn’t let me. He grabbed my shoulders, holding me in place.

“Don’t,” I said, my voice cracking, tears already stinging the backs of my eyes, the armor I’d so carefully layered on, shattering like brittle glass.

“You think I didn’t want you.”

“I don’t think anything. I think I’d like to go to class. I think I’d like to forget yesterday ever happened and so would you, so let’s both just⁠—”

“Goddammit, Gray, I didn’t say no because I didn’t want you,” he blurted out, his voice rising. “I said no because you were not asking me.”

I went very still as his confession continued.

“I have wanted you since the first minute and I have wanted you every minute since. I wanted you so badly last night that I forced myself to stay outside this door because if I had gotten into that bed with you, I would not have been able to hold back. So don’t stand here and tell me I don’t want you. I want you so bad it hurts.”

His features cracked, the hard lines of his face splitting around something raw.

My heart kicked once, hard, then started beating too fast.

“I am terrified of you.” His voice had gone quiet again. “I am terrified of what you are doing to me. Of what you make me want. Of what it would mean to choose you in this house, in front of him, and not be able to take it back.”

His jaw worked.

“I have spent every hour of my life learning that the things I want get used against me. There is not a soft place in me my father has not put a finger on and pressed until it bled. I have spent my whole adult life refusing to want anything, because to want a thing in this house is to hand him the knife.” He swallowed. “And then you walked in.”

His eyes burned into mine.

And I couldn’t breathe.

“God help me, Gray, even knowing what it costs…” He stepped in even closer, his hands coming up to cup my face, his fingers trembling. “…I am choosing you anyway.”

He stood there watching me, waiting for my move.

I should not choose him.

Choosing him made me easier to hurt. Choosing him gave Alistair leverage. Choosing him put the mission, Dervla, and every girl trapped in that ward at risk.

I chose him anyway.

I stepped into him, crushing my lips onto him.