Page 75 of Mountain Void

“Lorenz …”

He kneeled in front of her and brought her hand to his chest. “I spent all these years thinking you left because I wasn’t enough. Because I wasn’t there for you when we lost our baby.”

Color rose to her face. “Lorenz, I swear I never meant—”

“Please stop apologizing.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, searching for words he should have found seven years earlier.

“I was angry, Charlie.”

She flinched, and he forced himself to keep talking.

“When I walked out of here tonight … I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry.”

Charlie’s face crumpled.

“But I wasn’t angry because you couldn’t have children.”

“What?”

“I was angry because I had just realized why I lost you. And now, I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed in myself.”

“In yourself?“ she repeated, as if unable to make sense of his words.

He went on. “I should have known something was going on. And when you asked for a divorce, I should have fought harder. I shouldn’t have let you choose what you thought was best for me.” He closed his hand over hers, keeping it against his chest, so she could feel his heartbeat.

A sob escaped her. “But you wanted children. You talked about it all the time. You were so happy—”

“Yes!” His voice came out louder than he intended. He lowered his voice. “I wanted kids with you. With you, Charlie. That was the non-negotiable part you seem to be missing.”

Charlie shook her head. He could see the conflict in her, the years of conviction coming face to face with his words. “You say that now, but you haven’t had time to think what it really means. You might feel different tomorrow.”

“I would have said it then,” he replied. “If you’d given me the chance.”

“I was trying to protect you,” she said finally. “After everything we’d lost, I didn’t want to be the reason you lost even more.”

Something tightened in his chest.

So we ended up losing each other.

Somehow, he had to make her see how unacceptable this was.

“When you asked for a divorce, I accepted it because I thought it was the right thing to do.” He gave a short, humorless laugh. “It never occurred to me that the woman I loved might be making the biggest mistake of our lives.”

Charlie stared at him.

“You know what I should have done? I should have refused to sign those papers until we understood what had happened to us.”

“But I …”

“And I should never have let you carry everything alone, Charlie,” he said, squeezing her hand and arm gently.

“So now …” she said, her expression dazed.

“We’ve spent almost seven years letting the worst months of our lives decide our future. We’re done with that. We’re done rehashing the past. You were my family, Charlie. You still are. That’s why I didn’t build a new life with someone else. Because you’re my wife.”

Her eyes widened slowly.