Page 58 of Mountain Void

“Lorenz …”

Maybe it was better to have this conversation now, in the semi-darkness. Where he could hide from his shame, even as he admitted it out loud.

“Stop,” she begged. He felt her body stiffen beside him. But even then, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.

“We’ll have other babies.” He coughed dryly. “That’s what I said. That’s when I lost you.”

Charlie’s face lost color.

“And you’re bringing it up now … why, Lorenz? What are you looking for? Forgiveness?”

Not really.

“I didn’t think you’d forgive me. I hoped you’d forgive me,” he corrected. God, this hurt. Everything hurt. He could feel her pulling away already.

“Because I’m nice, right?” she snarled.

Her anger hit him like a slam to the solar plexus.

Nice?

He’d never once thought of her as nice.

Charlie stared at him, her expression fierce. Except she also looked small and fragile, standing out here on the bridge. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but knew she wouldn’t appreciate it.

“I don’t think you’re nice,” Lorenz said. “I think you’re courageous, kind, and strong. Not nice.”

* * *

Charlie

Oh.

Her anger deflated and scattered.

Strong. Kind. Courageous.

Even as she felt herself thawing, she knew she shouldn’t be giving in.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he was back in her life, talking about the past and the future, making her think thoughts she had no right to be thinking.

She sneaked a look at him—at his tight, square jaw, those green eyes shimmering with emotion. He had to know how good he looked. Except she wasn’t sure he did. He seemed to have no idea what he did to her—how badly she wanted to touch him, to get close to his warmth and strength.

And the way he looked at her … it was the way he’d always looked at her. Like she mattered. But it was also new, because he looked at her like it was the current her he wanted. Not the old Charlie.

But it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough between them, because old secrets would always stand between them. And there were things she couldn’t say—things she knew she’d never be able to say out loud, just like she’d never be able to forget them.

“I don’t think I’m ready to talk about this, Lorenz,” she finally said.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be.

“I’m sorry I said that, Charlie. It was tactless. It was crass. I didn’t mean it.”

Her breath hitched. “You did mean it, Lorenz.”

“Forgive me.”

Forgive him? For what? For wanting another baby, after their baby passed away?