Page 120 of Let’s Be Real

Maybe that was what she saw.

A few days ago, I certainly hadn’t had a shred of it.

We sat on a bench side by side, Samantha’s hand clutched between mine. She didn’t ask for anything, and that was a relief too. I’d almost let myself believe Roman had been right, that she would take me in any form.

If that were true, I needed to find a way to be in my best form, for her sake.

Before she left, we clung to each other. Her fingers dug into my back, and her mouth was hot against my neck as she gasped.

“I love you, Nate.”

“Even now?” I couldn’t help asking, still finding it difficult to believe.

“Always,” she promised.

The following day, she came back with Adrian, and Ben showed up near the end of visiting hours. I’d gone to my first group therapy session, so I didn’t have much to give to any of them. Though they didn’t seem upset by it. I’d managed to stay present enough to listen to them talk, and even laughed at something Ben had said.

On day seven, the zaps in my brain had slowed, making focusing a little easier. Adrian showed up during visiting hours alone. As always, we sat outside together.

Today was a little sunnier.

He leaned into me. “It’s you and me, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ben and Roman are a pair. I mean, it’s natural, given they shared a womb and have the same face.”

“Most identical twins do.”

“Right.” He studied his steepled hands. “I always thought of you and me as a pair too. The oldest and youngest.”

“You see us as a pair?” I never would have guessed.

He turned his head, his brow dropping low over his eyes. “Why do you think I bought a condo in your building? Did you think that was a coincidence?”

“I…yes, I guess I did. To be honest, I’m not sure I’d put much thought into it.”

“Well, it’s a fact.” He shifted on the bench, like he was uncomfortable. “I wanted to be near you.”

“To keep an eye on me?”

That had him sitting up straight and twisting toward me. “Are you not listening? I’m trying to tell you I love you, and you’re making it extremely difficult.”

“I—” Had to blink. Swallow. Process what he was saying. Adrian didn’t emote. I knew he loved me, but I couldn’t think of a time he’d actually said it out loud. “I love you, too, Ade.”

His scowl deepened. “All right. If that’s the case, you can’t leave me. We’re a pair, Nate. What am I going to do on my own? Hang out with the twins? I don’t think so. You’re in this with me all the way. You can’t back out now.”

“I’m not backing out.”

That did nothing to abate his frown. “You were thinking about it.”

Dropping my head, I nodded. “It was hard to be awake, but that’s different than wanting to die. I know it doesn’t sound different, but it is.”

There was silence, a deep inhale, then he threw his arms around me and dug his head into my shoulder.

I frowned.

Adrian was…