Page 80 of Ashes to Ash’s

I felt his fingers sliding between my ass cheeks, and sucked in a breath. Finally. I was finally going to feel what he’d felt when I fucked him. I was finally going to lose my anal virginity, and I wanted it so fucking badly. I wanted it to hurt too. Call me a twisted fucker, but I wanted to be caught on that precipice between pain and pleasure, where one wrong move could send me in one direction, and either be the best or worst thing that could happen to me.

I needed him to really push me, fuck, he could break me if he wanted, as long as he did something. Right now? I twisted my neck to peer at him over my shoulder, and he was staring at the lube bottle, lost in thought.

“Don’t think you need to read the instructions, babe. Just drizzle it on and shove it in.”

Cal’s gaze went from distant to sharp in an instant, and I shuddered at the savage look in his eyes.

“Just trying to work out if I can fit the entire bottle inside you, Ash.”

“All the lube?” Was he saying what I thought he was?

“The actual bottle. Maybe I just fuck you with this. Have you even earned my cock?” The confidence disappeared for a moment, and his eyes darted away from mine. He was losing his nerve. I couldn’t fucking lose this moment, couldn’t lose him this way.

“I mean, you might have to if you’re not man enough to fuck me with your big cock.”

His glare intensified, and his fingers tightened on the bottle. Good.

“Watch it.”

“I mean, should I just fuck myself, while you mess around back there? Unless you’re waiting for a fucking red carpet, and an embossed invite or something.”

Cal lifted the bottle with purpose, upending it, and pouring another stream of lube over my ass, and down my crack. Yes. I mean, fuck the lube. Whatever. Just fuck me.

He tossed the bottle aside, and slid his fingers over the small of my back, and down the crack of my ass, rimming my hole, as tingles emanated from his touch. Fuck yes. More. Give me more.

“I don’t need prep, Cal. Just stick your cock in me.”

“Who’s in charge here, Ash, because it sure as fuck isn’t you.”

His fingers pressed deep, and a low guttural groan left my throat, because holy fuck, if just that felt this good, I’d worship him as my fucking god.

“Please!” I gasped, but I had no idea what I was begging for, I just wanted him to keep doing things that sent so many tingles of pleasure through my body. Was this how it felt when I fucked him? He wasn’t even inside me yet, but just his fingers were hitting the spot. I mean, the stretch was a little painful, but I’m me, so that part was feeling pretty fucking good too.

“Harder,” I gasped, followed by, “deeper!”

His fingers plunged deep, and I yelped, but that sound morphed to pleasure before I could even register it as anything else. God yes. Give me all the fucking pleasure and pain, give it to me!

“Cal, please! Fuck me!”

His fingers left me, and I wanted to whine with frustration at the sense of loss. We’d been connected, he’d been inside me, and now he wasn’t. I twisted again to see him smoothing lube over his cock, and a shiver ran down my spine. Fear? Excitement? I had no idea which, but his eyes lifted from watching his hands, and he grinned at me.

“Gonna fuck you so hard, Ash. That’s how you want it, right?”

“Yes! Yes, please!” I was nodding so fast I felt dizzy.

Cal stroked his cock as he stared at me, sucking his bottom lip, taunting me like the fucker he could be at times. I think he needed that side of him to survive me, but right now I was about to grab a knife and force him to fuck me, and I wasn’t really clear on how that would even work…

“Cal, dammit!”

“Shut up and wait. You’ll get it when I’m ready.” He stepped up close behind me again, resting his cock against my ass, the heat of it practically burning my skin, right against my crack, making me arch against him. If he didn’t fuck me soon, I’d kick his ass for all this edging. I’d never been a patient man, and I was way beyond waiting.

“Cal…”

He pressed my butt cheeks apart, and glided his cock between them, easing back and forth, teasing and yet sending tingles of pleasure rippling with each slide. It was good. It was nice. It wasn’t enough.

I opened my mouth again to demand it, to scream at him, to beg for it. All of the things. That’s when he moved. His cock was suddenly pressing against my hole, pushing inside, stretching me bit by bit, as he began his intrusion. The destruction of my virginity.

“God, yes! Do it! Fuck me!”