Page 55 of Ashes to Ash’s

I nodded, resting my forehead against his, because that wasn’t what I’d been about to say.

“Yeah. I’m glad he’s gone. But look, there was something else I wanted to say. It’s important.”

Ash’s eyes widened and he pulled back so he could focus on me.

“Don’t fucking break up with me now. I’ll hunt you to the fucking ends of the earth, and drag you back kicking and screaming. Don’t try me, Cal. Don’t fucking try.” I couldn’t help grinning at him.

“I was gonna say your family is fucking insane, but I’m going to reword it. You and your family are insane, but I’m not going anywhere. I couldn’t now.”

“We brought marshmallows,” Gray yelled, and Ash started chuckling, shaking his head.

“You’re right, we fucking are, but I can’t imagine being a normie. It just seems weird. Laws, rules, why the fuck should we bother?”

I glanced at the car, at Ren, whose eyes were wide and excited, as he watched the compound burning to the ground, both palms pressed against the car window.

“Look, about Ren…”

Ash turned and caught a glimpse of the enthralled kid, grinning widely.

“We’ll make a Cross of him yet.”

“What?”

He smacked my ass as he headed for the rest of his family. “He’s coming home with us. That’s what you were gonna say, and I’m down. As long as he doesn’t get in the way of us fucking.”

He joined his family to toast marshmallows over a burning pile of wood that had been stored close enough to the building to catch fire too. In my opinion they were too close to the fire, but they were the experts, so who was I to argue?

I grabbed the car door and pulled it open.

“You want marshmallows with those crazy fuckers, Ren?”

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ash

Instead of staying at the hotel, we just wanted out, so we hit the road. We got home just as it was getting light, and I was fucking exhausted, but somehow in addition to taking out a twisted godbotherer who liked raping kids, we’d also managed to adopt one.

“Ren, it’s safe here, I swear,” Cal was saying as he led him to the door and I used the code to let us in.

“Yeah, I know it’s like a fucking fortress, but we’re the only psychos inside,” I added, trying to offer a layer of comfort, but for some reason, my words seemed to have the opposite effect. The kid made a panicked kinda of squeak, and drew back from me. It surprised me how much that bothered me, like how could I be scary to him after what he’d been through?

“It’s okay, Ren, he just means you’re safe here. It’s just the three of us, okay?”

“Why?”

I groaned, because wasn’t that a kid thing? Nix had gone through a phase of why this and why that, to the point that I wanted to punch myself in the head, just to escape it.

I strode inside, and headed straight for the shower off the main bedroom. I needed the filth of this night off me, and I needed some time to get my head together. How the fuck Blaze and Ethan, of all people, seemed to relish killing, I didn’t know. I just didn’t quite have it in me to enjoy it. Beating the hell out of someone, sure, but spilling their blood, and ending their life? I guess I had some manning up to do, so I didn’t let the fucking side down.

I tossed my clothes in the nearest bin, because they were never going on my body again. I felt like they were tainted by the evil of that place. Like every part of me was too. I set the shower running, and fell back into my thoughts as I waited for it to warm up. That kid out there, he’d been seconds away from the same hell we’d both been through. Had we arrived in time was the question running around in my head right now. Had we actually saved him at all? What had he been through already? How much of that drivel that bastard spouted filled his head, and kept echoing back at him. Filthy. Dirty. Abomination. Why the fuck couldn’t we just be gay and it be okay? I knew I’d been lucky with my parents, because they’d never once tried to enforce anything over us, letting us choose our paths. Was it so fucking hard for other parents to be as good as mine? I wouldn’t ever try and constrain my children just to make them fit a fucking out of date template.

Kids. Oh yeah. Probably wasn’t on the cards for us, was it? Unless we rented a fucking uterus. Or adopted one… like Ren.

“Ash, I made coffee,” I heard Cal yell from the hallway. I wanted to drag him in here with me, wanted him to fucking distract me from the chaos of my mind, and the horrors of this night, but he’d be looking after Ren. Did we literally just adopt a kid, because that seemed to me like something that had more rules to it. Still. I’m a Cross. Rules are meant to be broken. They’re starting points, for us to bend to fit how we want to live. See. My family is way better than anyone else’s.

“I’ll be right out.”

I didn’t know if he was still there by the time I answered, or whether he’d showered, or eaten, because I’d lost track of time in here, and that hadn’t happened in a while, but sometimes minds needed to be explored, or you never knew what shit was hiding in there.