Page 6 of The Intimacy of Finding You

I huffed a laugh. “This city was meant to make all my big dreams come true. Instead, all it’s done is poison me. Changed me.”

“The city can’t change you. People and life can. You may seem like a real asshole right now, but I know the real you is under there somewhere.”

“This is the real me.”

Callum reached across the table, grabbing the vodka bottle and pulling it toward him, away from me. It was almost empty, but I wanted to finish it. “No, it isn’t. The real you isn’t this cold and guarded.”

Picking up the shot glass, I placed it right in front of my eyes and peered through it, watching it distort his image. “Maybe I should’ve been this way the whole time. Maybe this was the real me, and I was just fakin’ it around you.”

“I don’t believe that. I think you’re lying.”

“You can call me a liar all you want, Callum, but I know the truth better than you do.”

“Then tell me the truth.”

“No.”

He stared at me for a moment before scrubbing a hand over his face. “Alright, then. Do you come here every day?”

I shrugged.

“Cool. Thanks for being so very open with me.” His tone was laced with snark and sarcasm as he slowly stood from his seat. “I’ll figure the truth out one day.”

“You won’t.”

“I will. I’m not going to give up, Tobi. Just because you gave up on us so easily doesn’t mean I ever gave up on you.”

I opened and closed my mouth, grasping for something to say. I couldn’t find any, though. He should have. He should. He should give up on me—just give up and forget I ever existed and pretend like he never saw me here.

Callum turned away, still holding the bottle of vodka. “Oh, and no, they don’t despise you. And neither do I. I know the truth better than you do.”

I watched him, helpless, as he walked away. The man I’d considered my one true love had just stolen my vodka, fucked with my head, and turned his back on me so fucking easily, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d been imagining it.

Callum. A name I hadn’t thought about in years. But I’d never stopped thinking about his scent, or his soul, or the pure, sunshiney warmth he emitted from across the damn room.

I still loved him. I just didn’t deserve him.

chapter four

It was almost midnight, but my mind was racing, my heart was aching, and everything felt like it was slowly falling apart around me. I was fighting back tears. Tears I didn’t want, and I didn’t need. They were useless. Like a dark sky with nothing but two tiny little stars in one corner all the way on the other side—too far to be seen. Too inconsequential to be noticed. They didn’t mean anything, and they didn’t change anything, so why entertain their existence?

After ringing the doorbell a couple times with no response, I started to knock. Loudly. Rapidly. Over and over, I knocked on the door, hoping and praying that one of them would answer. Just fucking answer.

I leaned forward, letting my forehead rest against the door as I was trying and failing to even out my breathing. It was too fast and too shallow, and soon, my silent disco would become a very vocal and panicked one. My chest felt so fucking tight, I started to worry I was having a heart attack. But no, it was just anxiety. Always there, always waiting, like a monster in the dead of night, hiding in the dark.

My forehead slipped as the door finally opened, Price standing on the other side. His pajama pants were backward, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his cheeks were surprisingly red for how cold it was outside. “Callum? What the fuck are you doing here?”

Swiping my hair out of my face, I looked up, taking in another deep breath. “I need to talk to you. Both of you.”

“And it couldn’t wait until morning?”

“No. It can’t.” I blinked through a couple of tears that had made their way onto my eyelashes. “Please, Price.”

His eyebrows furrowed just before his face started to relax. I could see when it finally dawned on him how desperate a situation this was. He stepped to the side, letting me in. “Let me go get Crew. We were, uh, busy.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re good. Just give me a moment. Go sit on the couch, and we’ll meet you there.”