And yet here she was, palms clammy and her heart hammering as it had on their first date.
It had just been…so long. So long since they’d spent time together, just doing normal couples things, even if they weren’t one.
So unbearably long since anything about her life felt simple.
Reid settled beside her without a word. And before she could decide how close was too close, his arm came around her and he pulled her back against his chest in the most natural motion in the world.
She melted into him, her eyes slipping closed for one second as she drank in the piney scent of his bodywash.
When she opened her eyes again, he was smiling down at her.
“What are you smiling about?” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you steal a few sips of my shake?”
His deep brown eyes were warm and soft as he studied her. “Best night I’ve had in a long time.”
His words affected her more than she cared to admit. Thankfully, she didn’t have to say anything because loud popping noises filled the space. A popcorn popper roared to life and the smell of butter and salt hung in the room thick enough to taste.
She took a long sip of her drink, her eyes widening at the strength. The alcohol hit her system fast, sending warmth through her body.
Reid caught the look on her face and pressed his lips against her ear. “Did the girls make your drink strong?”
“I think if I drink all of this, you’ll end up carrying me to bed.”
His eyes burned down at her with an intensity that made the alcohol feel as mild as a root beer float.
“I want to carry you to bed every night, Ryss.” There was no teasing in his tone, only a heated truth that rattled her.
His throat worked in a hard swallow. “I want this so badly. All these years, I’ve been dreaming about the life we could have had. And it makes it really hard to wake up.”
Her eyes swam with sudden tears, and her throat clamped around the things she didn’t know how to say. She couldn’t let herself think about how it was going to feel to leave him again, to walk back into her old life once this case concluded. To return to the apartment that had never once been a home.
She couldn’t think about that yet. Not tonight.
Around her, things were happening that she never expected. She and Reid were finding their way back to each other, one stolen moment at a time.
But it wasn’t only him. She’d been getting closer to all of them, she realized as she let her gaze drift around the room, taking in every face lit up blue by the glow of the projector.
She wanted to hear more about Younger’s bad cooking. God help her, she wanted to actually experience it firsthand, to sit at the table and laugh about whatever disaster he called dinner with the rest of them.
She wanted to know why Cannon had such bad taste in movies and what made him choose them. She wanted to understand the odd current running between him and Rorke. And she wanted to know more about Townie, who was often quiet and a little broody. He watched the room with a thoughtful expression she couldn’t read but badly wanted to.
She wanted to finally get O’s real name out of him—not the flat “no” he kept giving in response to her guesses. And she wanted to know more about Jolie and Stina as well as their significant others. She wanted to know all the small, useless facts that turned people from strangers into friends.
She wanted more time with all of them.
But more than any of that, she wanted Reid.
She wanted to know what he’d be doing in five minutes, whether he’d still have his arm around her and whether he’d kiss her temple as they sank into the movie the way they had so many other times in the past.
She wanted to know what tomorrow held for him, and next month too.
She wanted forever with him.
And she had no idea how she’d drive away from this concrete bunker, a base belonging to a team made up of men who no longer existed.
Since she couldn’t form any of her thoughts into words, she only pressed closer to his chest and let the smell of the popcorn and the flavor of the boozy shake wrap around her.
Just for tonight, this type of wanting would have to be enough.