Page 100 of Fallen Crown

“Forgive me if I didn’t welcome the man my wife’s been fucking deeper into our lives. Being face-to-face with the man my wife cheated on me with has been enough already.” Enzo holds up his hands, but his tone is bitter.

“Cheating?” My mother raises her eyebrows. “You’re mistaken. According to Bellerive laws, the minute the separation papers were filed, regardless of whether you sign them, you’re separated. That legal designation only changes if Maren withdraws the application. She didn’t cheat on you. She moved on from you, and if she’d listened to any of us, she’d have done it even sooner.”

“Mom,” I say. This whole conversation from Enzo admitting his own indiscretion to him asking for a second chance to him accusing me of cheating to the realization we really are legally separated is putting me into a tailspin. But I don’t want to be cruel, and my mother, probably hoping for a seat at the royal table, won’t have a problem ripping Enzo to shreds. I’m old enough to realize her attitude is less about me and more about who she believes will be taking Enzo’s place in my life.

“I’d really like some space. To be alone for a little while.” Then when neither of them leave, I continue, “I’m still really tired.”

“I’ll go to our house to shower and change. I haven’t left the hospital since you were admitted,” Enzo says, and he rakes his hand through his dark hair. “I’ll be back in a few hours, but if you need me, just call.”

He’s saying all the right things, and I would have given anything to hear them a year ago, but I don’t understand how we can go back. Brice might not be an option, but it doesn’t mean I should stay with Enzo either.

Enzo leaves first, and my mother is lingering even though I made myself clear. If she’s going to stay, there is something I want to know.

“Is the legal stuff you said true?”

“Should be,” my mother says. “Caitlin is the one who told me after Enzo was being a prick about letting Brice into your hospital room.”

“Where is Brice?” Since he left the room, I’ve been antsy. His presence makes me feel safe and secure in a way I’ve never had with anyone else. It’s part of the reason I didn’t question how much I was sleeping after I returned from Fiji. When I was asleep, I wasn’t missing Brice or worried about what he was doing or questioning whether I’d made the right decision in pushing him away.

“In the cafeteria waiting for me to tell him the coast is clear,” she says. “I was supposed to come up with some reason why Enzo couldn’t be in here any longer. Do you want me to get him?”

I do. So much. But my brain is a muddled mess, and I’m not sure seeing Brice will give me the clarity I need. Before I see him alone, I have to be sure whether my marriage is definitely over or if it’s worth trying to rebuild with Enzo. For months I told myself that if Enzo returned to Bellerive, we could figure out our relationship. My gut instinct already has an answer about whether that’s still true, but for everyone’s sake, I should consider every angle.

“Can you ask him to come see me in an hour?” I ask. “I just need a little time to process my life.”

“I’ll tell him.” She gathers the Valentino purse she placed on the foot of my bed when she came in. “For what it’s worth, you looked really happy in the photos Ava sent me from that party in Fiji. It was nice to see you so happy again.”

“I was happy,” I say, and then just before my mom is out the door, I continue, “but I don’t think Brice and I want the same things out of life.”

“Have you asked him?” She stands at the door with her designer purse slung over her arm.

“He told me months ago what he wanted, and it’s not what I want. It wouldn’t be enough for me.” We’ve never had the type of relationship where we confide in each other, and it feels strange to be so honest with her.

“You know what’ll keep you up at night years from now? When you’re old like me?”

I shake my head.

“The questions you never had the guts to ask. Maybe he doesn’t want the same things you do, but I’ve spent the last day and a half in constant contact with him. He’s got big feelings for you, whether he’s acknowledged them or not. Your heart is already on the line, so you might as well show it to him.”

I swallow and nod, shocked that a conversation with my mother is snapping my life into sharp focus.

“Here’s the other thing,” she says, clearly on a roll. “You always thought I was surprised you got married because I’ve called you my wild-hearted daughter. But I wasn’t surprised you got married. I was surprised you got married to him.”

Her hand is on the door to leave, and everything she’s said is seeping into me, like a long drink after a drought. I did love Enzo once, but not in the same way I love Brice. It might not be fair to compare, but I can’t help it. Things were easy with Enzo because we never pushed or challenged each other in any way, and maybe that’s a relationship other people would value and enjoy. I did for a while, until things got hard, and neither of us understood how to navigate it.

Brice and I have been the opposite—challenging each other, propelling each other into unknown depths, but being there to support one another when we stumble, and I’ve loved it. Loved every minute of it. I never knew a relationship could run this deep, but I don’t know if he sees us like I do.

“Can you tell Brice I want to see him?”

“Now?” She glances at me over her shoulder.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m ready.”

Chapter Forty-Three

Brice

I haven’t left the hospital in two days, hoping for a chance to talk to Maren alone, and when Celia delivers the message that not only is Tucker on her own but she wants to talk to me, trepidation beats a drum in my chest. This conversation will either go very well or very poorly. There’s no middle ground.