Page 144 of Scarred Crown

“I’m pretending I’m blameless, and I’m not.” Alex takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I knew you saw us, and I never told her. You were back with blondie by the end of the night, and I tried to get Jules to take me back. Why not? You weren’t an option. At first, I thought it was better if she didn’t know you saw us. Later, I didn’t think you deserved her. She was better off without you.”

Better off without me. That cuts deep. I swallow down my biting retort because this conversation isn’t about who’s right, it’s about figuring out what went wrong. “You must have seen how upset we both were?”

“I knew she was upset because she’d let something slip once in a while. But we stopped talking—you and me. How was I to know she wasn’t the only one upset? I wasn’t home much, and when I was, we were both busy.”

Do I buy that? Does it matter? The reality is that my assumptions sank me and Jules back then. I wasn’t able to talk to her about things that mattered. I held a grudge, and I let her slip through my fingers. Maybe that’s the truth I needed to discover, to reconcile, so I never let it happen again.

“You’re on board for this referendum?” I ask. Brice’s stance is clear. If our father chooses to go down this path, assuming it’s approved by the Bellerive population, he’ll support him.

Alex’s expression softens. “I’m not ready, for any of it, but I love him too much to deny him the ending he wants. The whole thing is, honestly, a bit terrifying.”

I can’t even remember the last time Alex and I had such a refreshingly honest conversation. Brice and I have joked for years about Alex being an asshole, but I’m starting to see that Brice was truly joking, in the way brothers do, and I was serious. Deadly serious. Another thing I might have been wrong about.

“Maybe you were right when we had that argument over who the asshole in the family is,” I say.

“You were probably right—it’s likely me. I’m quick to anger, and when I get angry, I don’t hold back. It’s the quality our father finds most disappointing in me, I think. Honesty over diplomacy every time.”

“Julia mentioned you were with Anna Samuels for a while.”

A brief smile tugs at the edges of Alex’s lips. “I thought you knew, actually. She told me she got drunk and told you she was ‘fucking your brother’ at a party one time. I said if she ever spoke another word to anyone else, she wouldn’t be doing that for long.”

I slide my hands behind my neck. Had she told me that? Honestly, in high school girls got drunk all the time and told me they ‘wanted to fuck my brother’. Listening wasn’t my finest skill when I’d had too many drinks, and I drank a lot our senior year of high school. Far too much.

“I didn’t know,” I admit. “If she told me that, I didn’t hear her.”

“Thought you knew.” Alex shrugs. “As soon as it was clear Jules wasn’t interested, I found someone else.” He meets my gaze for a minute. “I never gave up hope Julia would change her mind. Royal marriages have been built on weaker foundations than friendship. She was the most logical choice for me, and she’s got all the qualities I already mentioned once or twice.” He gives me a rueful smile.

“I think it’s probably better if you stop telling me about how great my wife is.” The moniker slips out before I can correct myself.

“You haven’t spoken to Jules yet?” He raises his eyebrows.

“No, she told me. Slip of the tongue.”

“I heard from Merida that you were ‘hitting pause’ on the wedding plans. Is that still where you’re at or…”

I brush off my annoyance at him for speaking to our wedding planner. Alex is becoming the king, and just like my father, he’ll have his fingers in every royal family transaction. I’ll have to live with that.

“No, we’re—we’re moving ahead.” I meet his gaze and hold it. “You still might not think I deserve her, and maybe past me didn’t, but I’ve loved her forever. From the moment she set foot in the camp in Tanzania, I’ve been crawling my way back to her. And I’m there—and I just want you to stop trying to fuck it up on me.”

“The speed of the whole thing has taken me by surprise.” He runs a hand through the side of his dark hair. “I couldn’t fathom that Jules could fall that deep that quick. And you? Historically indifferent about the women you dated. For the two of you to form a lasting relationship in a matter of weeks was impossible to comprehend. How is it even possible? And maybe it’s not. Maybe the truth is that she could never pick me because she’d already chosen you.”

Hearing him say it, admit it, sends a shot of warmth through my chest. His words are similar to ones Jules has used, but it feels like a strange kind of approval coming from Alex.

“As long as she’s happy, I won’t interfere,” he says.

“I swear I will leave no stone unturned in seeking out her happiness.”

“Then we won’t have a problem.” Alex reaches across his desk to extend his hand.

Instead, I rise and hold out my arms. “I think we should hug it out.”

“For old times’ sake.” Alex chuckles but meets me around the desk.

“For new beginnings where assumptions have no place.”

“I’ll hug to that,” Alex says, and he draws me in tight.

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