Page 122 of Scarred Crown

“Yes, I’m sure. You’re being so truthful about everything else you know.” His tone is biting.

“Your father asked me—my mother asked me—”

“They come before my brother?”

“It’s not that simple and you know that. You of all people understand the weight of duty versus doing whatever you want.” My voice thickens at how black and white Alex is painting everything. The gut-wrenching part is that Nick will paint my choice in these colors too.

“The referendum is on assisted suicide. The king would like to legalize it.” He lets the bomb drop and then he studies my reaction.

“What?” I whisper. “No. No. No.” Legalizing assisted suicide? He’s trying to sign his own death warrant. Not that his condition can be reversed, but… tears spring to my eyes in earnest, and I close the distance between me and Alex. “Because of what’s happening to him?”

“You can’t even say it?” Alex’s voice is low, and he stares down at me with a mixture of tenderness and frustration.

My mind turns over the revelation. Nick and I haven’t spoken about the issue for years, maybe since the debate club, but he wasn’t in favor of assisted suicide then. Given his reaction to Bahati and Elena, I can’t imagine he’ll be on the pro side now either. He’ll fight The Crown in their efforts to ram this through.

“Nick will be—”

“Which is why you can’t tell him,” Alex says.

“Alex,” I breathe out, a tear slipping down my cheek. “Nick and Brice deserve to know what’s at stake. If the king isn’t going to tell them, you need to. Or Queen Helen needs to. Or I will.” My chest tightens unbearably, and I press the heel of my hand to my breastbone.

“I’m in favor of legalizing it, Jules. I’m on my father’s side.” His gaze is tender and pained. “Brice might come around, but I agree with you. I’m not sure Nick will.”

“I won’t have Nick finding out about his father’s illness when the referendum is announced. I can’t do that to him. I won’t. He’d never forgive me. Either you tell him, or you get one of your parents to tell him or—or—I’ll tell him.”

Tears stream down my face, and there’s a creeping desperation in me now. Before when I was keeping the king’s illness from him, that was bad. But this? Knowing the king intends to use legislation he’s running through the court of public opinion without telling Nick and Brice? It’s unacceptable. How can the king’s judgment be so impaired? Why is everyone enabling this?

“I’ll talk to him,” Alex says. His thumb grazes my cheek, catching a tear. “Give me twenty-four hours. If our father won’t tell them,” Alex takes a deep breath, “I will.”

“Oh, thank God,” I murmur. Without thinking, I throw my arms around Alex in a desperate hug. “Thank you. Thank you.”

He squeezes me tight and sighs against my hair. “Jules,” he murmurs.

“Jules!” Nick calls from the hallway.

I draw away from Alex and run my fingers underneath my eyes, averting my gaze from Nick when he appears in the doorway.

“Everything all right?” Nick’s tone is wary.

If I look at him, he’ll know I’m crying.

“Fine.” Alex steps away from me, all business again. “Jules, call me if you need help with anything else.”

Trust Alex to simultaneously offer help and drop me into a pile of unexplainable dung.

When Alex tries to shoulder past Nick, he doesn’t move from the doorway.

“What did you say to her? Why is my wife crying?”

“Ask your wife yourself.” Alex doesn’t hide his annoyance and then he’s gone.

A heavy silence coats the air between me and Nick, and when I turn to look at him, I plaster a fake smile on my face. I just have to make it through the next twenty-four hours and then there will be no more secrets between me and Nick.

“Are you okay?” Nick draws me into his chest, and he runs his hand along my back. “Was Alex being an ass to you? Do I need to give him matching cheeks?”

The soothing touch and protective stance are almost enough to set off another crying jag. I just hope he’ll understand why I couldn’t tell him when the truth comes out. “Can we talk about what’s upset me tomorrow? I just need a bit of time to process.”

“Yeah.” He searches my face and then nods. “Sure. As long as you’re okay. We’ve got all the time in the world.” Then he feathers a line of kisses from my temple to my chin before planting a quick kiss on my lips.