Page 119 of Scarred Crown

She undoes the belt and pushes the material off my shoulders.

It pools around my ankles.

When she gazes up at me, there’s no hint of teasing in her depths. “Does this feel surreal to you?”

“You and me?” My voice is gentle.

She scans my face. “Sometimes I look at you, when we’re out somewhere or just now, and it’s like… it’s like I’ll never get enough.” A thin sheen of tears coats her blue-gray eyes. “I’ve missed you, this you, so much. I missed us so much.”

Those words and her tears make my heart feel too big for my chest, and it’s more than ample to break my fragile willpower.

“There is no enough.” My voice is husky. “I’m always going to want more of everything with you.”

There’s nothing playful about what happens between us next. The intimacy is real, soul shatteringly real. We’re so connected my chest aches, as though I’m missing her, even while I’m swallowing her soft sighs with my kisses, burying myself so deep inside her it’s impossible to remember a time we weren’t like this. We can’t possibly get any closer, and it’s not enough.

Later when we’re lying facing each other, not saying anything, just tracing each other’s bodies in wonder, Jules circles the inscription on the outside of my upper thigh.

“Is this for your gran?” Her voice is quiet in the semi-dark room.

“How’d you guess?” I brush a loose strand of her hair back behind her shoulder.

“The two of you seemed to become really close leading up to her death.” She follows the two lines, which are almost too small to read. “My heart broke for you at the funeral. I wanted to talk to you so badly. So badly,” she murmurs.

Jules and I made eye contact for the briefest moment at the family graveside service late in the day, after all the public mourning was done. Then Alex moved to stand beside her, which made my losses so much worse. Her tear-stained face coupled with his presence was too much with my own heartbreak. Even though I longed to go to her, I spent the rest of the day avoiding her at every turn.

“Why here?” she asks. Her fingers are light against my skin.

“It’s just for me. Hard for the paparazzi to get a pic of it there. I’ve never told anyone who it was for or why I got it.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked?” Jules lets out a soft laugh.

I lace my fingers with hers, and she meets my gaze. “I’m glad you asked. I don’t want to hide anything from you.”

Her expression is stricken for a moment, and then she kisses me. When she draws back, she searches my face for a beat, her hesitation obvious.

“What is it?” I ask.

“I love you.” Her voice brims with sincerity and conviction. “I love you so much.”

A searing warmth blazes across my chest, and I place my forehead against hers, nuzzling our noses together. “I love you too.” My voice cracks. “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.”

“Oh, Nick,” she breathes. She presses her body against mine and kisses me deeply.

Then we’re getting lost in each other again, so lost I’m not sure I’ll ever find my way back. Doesn’t matter because I never want to.

Julia

I told Nick I loved him last night because I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been holding the words back since we returned to Bellerive. Whatever happened between us in Las Vegas before we got married shifted something inside me. What changed? I’m not sure, but I’m not quite as afraid Nick will grow tired of me or that we’re not strong enough to withstand whatever storms blow our way. Maybe we will be okay. He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt his love, but old habits die hard.

We had so much faith in each other once, and we ruined it.

There’s a chance I’ll ruin it again by dividing my loyalty between the king and Nick.

“What do you think?” Merida’s afro bounces, and one clearly defined spiral curl falls across her forehead.

“Sorry,” I say with a shake of my head. She’s going to think I’m a total flake. I haven’t been able to focus for more than five minutes on any of the royal wedding details. My phone keeps buzzing with coronation details, Nick is in my head, and I’m worried about when the king will finally tell Nick and Brice the truth. The last thing I want to be doing right now is planning a wedding. Not an acceptable response when a wedding planner, a very expensive wedding planner, is standing in front of you.

“The only thing I really care about is the dress.” I give her a sheepish grin. “Do you know who can pull it off in the timeline we’ve got?” I have a few Bellerive designers I love, but so many of the bigger names work months or years in advance.