Page 32 of Zombie

I looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

“How you are able to detach. I mean, I was with you when you did Aaron’s autopsy. I wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

My heart clenched hearing my best friend’s name. I didn’t have the heart to tell Toby that I threw my guts up after I completed the autopsy and then proceeded to get piss-drunk until I passed out.

“This job isn’t for the weak. Some days are harder than others, but regardless, you have a job to do. People are depending on the answers that you are able to provide. We are the ones who help lock up the evil in this world.”

As I spoke, guilt piled in me. I was helping the enemy. I was adding to the work of the detectives and my team. Leaving more questions than answers. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep up this charade but I needed to spend a little more time proving myself to Sarah and the others before officially dismantling everything.

Toby gave me a solemn nod before helping me get the other body bag into the van. The rest of the ride back to the lab was quiet. I could tell that Toby was in his head. This job certainly was hard. Especially when the victims were young. Even though I had been doing this for years now, I still found myself having a hard time after gruesome scenes.

After getting the bodies in their cooling chambers and putting the evidence from the scene in its designated area, I sat back in my office chair and worked on my ever-piling stack of paperwork.

After hours of working and the hard thoughts of the day, my brain started to drift back to Lennie. I had been so close to being inside her. So close to fulfilling one of my many fantasies she starred in, and of course this was the day that she would go back to her home now that the forensics were done being processed. I of course hadn’t been shocked when my own name had popped up on the screen. I’d made sure that Toby didn’t see the results and deleted it from the system record so he wouldn’t accidentally send it to Lennie or Kade. I sent a message to Kade letting him know the test was inconclusive. There was no way I was about to throw myself under the bus. Kade responded with a text.

KADE:

OK, I would say she is still clear to go home. The surveillance from her condo shows no continued activity. I will keep it up when she gets home. Thank you again, Zombie.

Guilt swarmed my head. If only Kade knew the real results. I would surely be killed or worse… tortured and then killed.

After a few minutes of stewing in my guilt, my mind went back to Lennie. Who knew when I would see her next? I knew the evening would consist of me lurking outside her window like a crazed man, but I didn’t care.

Did she have the same feelings for me as I had for her? Probably not, but it was clear that she wanted me in a physical sense, so for now that would have to do. I only wondered what she was doing right now. It had been hours since I last saw her, and I was crawling out of my skin to touch her, to feel her beneath me.

“You’ve got it bad,” Arrow’s voice sang in my head.

Damn straight I did.

I got home not long after I had gotten the text from Kade because I wanted to see Lennie before she left. I assumed Kade had texted her about it, but was prepared to tell her myself if need be.

After walking through the door, I was met with Lennie in the living room pacing. I looked at her with concern, wishing I could read her mind.

“Is everything alright?” I asked as I placed my bag down on the kitchen counter.

Lennie stopped her pacing and looked at me through the vast open space. “Kade texted me that it’s safe to go home.”

I couldn’t understand why she was pacing, or why she seemed upset. This was a good thing, so I would have thought.

“Yes,” I confirmed, “It is safe to go home.”

Lennie looked like she was about to have a panic attack. “But how do we know it is safe? What did the results show?”

“Kade has been watching your place and there has been no other activity or signs that the person will do it again.”

“But what did the results show? We don’t know for sure that the person will come back. They may be hiding.” She started pacing again. “It’s not like I can have a bodyguard with me forever.”

As Lennie continued pacing and talking, I was overcome with guilt. I had thrown a rock through her window—after she’d been kidnapped. Of course, she was freaked out and worried.

“Lennie, there’s something I need to tell you,” I said as calm as my racing heart would allow me to be.

She once again stopped her pacing and looked at me with fear and confusion.

I took a breath and walked closer to her. I needed to be near her. “The results came back and I know who threw that rock.”

“Okay?” Lennie responded while her eyes said continue, please for the love of god, continue.

I licked my lips and tried to find the right words to say to her without making her bolt. “The results came back, and I know you are safe because…” I paused and closed my eyes for a brief moment before opening them. I gazed into her blue eyes hoping she would understand. “Because I am the one who threw it.” My shoulders sagged at the omission.