Page 146 of One Night with Number Nineteen

Because she adds, “I’d like my son back too.”

Forty-Four

Lainey

The knock on the front door has my heart leaping.

A second later, a key turns in the lock and the wooden panel slides open, Sawyer standing hesitantly on the threshold.

“Saw-yur!” Ollie jumps up from the couch. “You’re here!”

“I’m here, bud.” It’s a soft greeting paired with a ruffle of his curls.

Then his gaze comes to mine and my lungs spasm.

Because his eyes…

“Can I talk to him?” he asks softly.

But he means: Can I tell him?

And even though I sent Sawyer off to think about what he was doing and what he wants…I’ve been doing the same thing.

At first, I was scared of what I was feeling—how big it was, how much I wanted it.

Then I was scared of how much I wanted to keep it.

Now…

I’m afraid of losing it.

Afraid that what I said, that what I need may shatter it into a million pieces.

But first…Ollie.

I nod and slip into the kitchen, intending to give them privacy, but their words follow me into the other room.

“Can you tell me a Dad Joke?”

“I—” An exhale. “Sure, bud. I actually had a funny one this morning. What kinds of cats teach college classes?”

Silence then, “I don’t know.”

“Purr-fessors.”

Grinning, I lean back against the counter as they laugh.

Then sober as Sawyer asks, “Can I talk to you about yesterday?”

“Did you not like my songs?” Ollie asks, and he sounds so sad I nearly bolt for the hallway.

A sharp inhale that keeps me in place. “I’m sure I would have loved them, bud. I just…didn’t hear them.”

Another pause, this one filled with confusion. “But I saw you there. Did you have a phone call or something?”

My heart squeezes.

“No,” Sawyer says. “I was late. I got there when it was already over.”