Page 52 of Bleed with Me

As I sat in the back seat of a black Mercedes, the weight of my reality crushed down on me with brutal clarity.

Time was ticking fast.

-28-

Nina

The elevator door closed behind me with a quiet sound that felt like a period at the end of a terrible day. I stood in the entry hall for a long moment with my back pressed to the wall. My breathing was shallow; the suffocating silence surrounded me, and that was when the panic found its way into my system.

Sonny’s voice echoed in my mind in an endless loop. His diabolical smile flashed at me from the darkness. The way his fingers tightened on my arm when no one was looking made me shudder with repulsion and fear. The familiar calculation in his eyes, measuring how far he could go without anyone noticing anything, forced my poor heart into an overdrive. I saw it all again. Moments stitched together into a montage I couldn’t shut off.

I slid down until I was sitting on the floor and pulled my knees to my chest, my forehead resting against them. My fear wasn’t dramatic or loud. It was quiet, hardly noticeable to the outside world. But on the inside, I was barely holding together.

Six weeks, and the nightmare going on repeat in my head would become my new reality. In six weeks, it would become permanent.

I pushed myself up before the spiral could swallow me whole. I changed into blue ripped jeans and a soft white sweater. I tied my hair back, splashed cold water on my face, and stared at my pale reflection until my breathing evened out.

“I’m stronger than this,” I chanted, staring at the pale face opposite me. “Stronger than anyone I know. I just need to clear my head and continue where I left off with Dorian. It will be okay.”

Exhaling deeply, I grabbed my keys and left the apartment that was always my sanctuary. But right now, the walls were too close, the memories of Sonny were too loud. My head needed resetting. My lungs craved fresh air.

The Camry hummed to life obediently. At first, I drove without direction, letting the city carry me. Streetlights smeared into lines of gold and white, storefronts blurred past, and somewhere between tall buildings and intersections, my thoughts drifted where they always did.

Dorian.

His smile came to me uninvited, infuriatingly vivid. The way the one corner of his plump lips lifted just slightly, like he knew something no one else did. The warmth in his eyes didn’t match the stories about his family or the violence stitched into his last name. He was dangerous, yes, but in a way that felt controlled, contained. He didn’t lash out. He carried his darkness like a weapon he only drew when necessary.

Staring out at the empty street, I wondered what he was doing. Was he at work or at home? Was he determined to continue ignoring me? Was he thinking about me at all?

The buzzing of my phone jolted me out of my thoughts. With a roll of my eyes, I looked at the screen. Lucas. I answered it through the car speakers with a sigh.

“Hi.”

There was a brief pause on the other end, but still long enough for him to catch my depressing mood.

“You sound like you’re driving instead of spiraling on your closet floor,” he said carefully. “Which tells me something went very wrong.”

“I’m fine,” I lied, my grip tightening on the steering wheel.

“Statistically improbable,” he countered. I clearly imagined him shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” I snapped, but instantly regretted it. “Not right now,” I softened, knowing he only wanted the best for me.

“Okay,” he mumbled after another pause. “Is there anything else I can help you with? Perhaps checking the legal consequences in the state of New York for using a car to solve your ‘fiancé problem’?”

A quiet laugh slipped past my lips, but the reality hit hard. It was an option, a desperate one, yet still possible considering the failures. However, my mind was swirling around only one plan right now.

“Can you find Dorian for me?” I asked, my teeth sinking into my lower lip.

“Ninaaaaa,” Lucas whined, long and tired.

“Please.” I kept my voice steady to show him I was stable, not barely functioning on memories of the man of my dreams. “I just need to know where he is.”

“I don’t like this,” he muttered, his fingers already moving. I heard them in the faint tapping. “Every time I help you with him, something explodes.”

I didn’t want to push more because he didn’t hang up. It was the only sign I needed to understand he would fulfill my request. I drove in silence while he worked, my heart beating faster with every passing second.

“Found him,” Lucas finally announced proudly. “He’s at Maxime.”