Page 182 of Bleed with Me

“I looked into everything,” she admitted. “Every article. Every interview. Every rumor. Every report I could get my hands on. There is nothing. No bar fights. No assaults. No vandalism. No arrests. Your biggest offense is a speeding ticket.” She shook her head slowly. “Not to mention, Grandpa never mentioned you in the same sentence as Malin and Zyon. He warned me daily about them. He even mentioned Ramzan a couple of times, but not you. Never you.” She let go of my hand, her eyes reflecting the chaos inside her. “You were always the one who saved lives.”

“My reputation is impeccable,” I agreed with a slight nod, a tiny smile lifting the corner of my mouth when she rolled her eyes exasperatedly. She was doing it a lot tonight. “What?” I playfully poked her arm with my index finger, trying to ease the tension. It was too serious for my liking. I just couldn’t relax and talk to her when she threw all my files at me. “It’s not my fault Malin is a better hacker than Lucas.”

“So, you went on killing sprees and your brothers wiped the evidence?” Nina grumbled. “That’s what you’re saying? That all I know about you is a lie? A public image you keep to be celebrated like a saint?”

“Nooooo.” I shook my head once. “I am the saint.” I grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving because she wanted to stand up. “Listen, ma vilaine. I told you about the fucker in my head who messes with my brain.”

She nodded, leaning back into her seat.

“What you witnessed… has happened four times in my life.” I exhaled heavily, preparing to face my past once more for her. Even though I already hated every word about to come out of my mouth.

“First, when I was abducted for the first time.” Nina turned her upper body to me, listening intently. “Second, when I was thirteen, and I found Malin surrounded by four boys who almost kicked the living daylights out of him. Two of them died in the hospital; the third and fourth are heavily traumatized.” I shrugged when her eyes widened. “The third was the darkest week of my life, and I’ll tell you about it later. And fourth,” my fingers clutched her wrists tighter, “was yesterday, when I saw the video of your kidnapping.”

“I was the trigger?” She sounded genuinely shocked.

“Not exactly.” I moved closer to her, my fingertips touching her cheek. “A threat to the people I love is the trigger.”

My stomach knotted when I realized what I’d just said.

“Love?” she whispered, incredulity flashing through her face. “You love me?”

The words clogged my throat, and my heart almost burst out of my ribcage.

“I…” My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“Dorian.” Nina placed her open palm on my cheek, her thumb brushing my skin soothingly. “Don’t shut me out.” The plea in her voice made my throat tighten. “I need to know how you feel about me, about Aryna, about everything.”

“I’m just so fucked up,” I breathed. “You’ll run away if I tell you what I’d done, what I’m responsible for.”

“I won’t.” She took my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Just talk to me.”

“Be careful what you wish for, ma vilaine,” I whispered. “You may not recognize the man you kidnapped to marry you.”

“You think you can scare me?” A small laugh escaped her. “My obsession with you is rooted so deep I’d need a full brain replacement to forget about you.”

“Cute.” An involuntary smile grazed my lips. “But save that confidence for after I tell you what only my mother and my brothers know.”

-72-

Nina

Confidence. The remark almost made me laugh out loud. Dorian truly had no idea how crazy obsessed I was with him. There was no way I would leave him, not in this lifetime, not ever. He was mine. Forever.

Still, the way he saw himself, as a monster that wasn’t worthy of love, worried me. At one point in our conversation, I almost grabbed his shoulders and shook him to stop talking bullshit about himself. I would never leave him because he killed someone. We both grew up in a dark, unsettling world full of violence, guns, and blood. I was used to it. And truth be told, I wasn’t surprised by the killings. The shift in him was the only thing that startled me.

The lethal glint in his hazel eyes, the dark aura surrounding him, the unwavering hand delivering the final blows. Those were the things that gave me the creeps because… well, Dorian wasn’t like that. At least, he shouldn’t be, according to everyone and everything. Yes, there were signs he contributed to his brothers’ crimes and deeds, but still, nothing stood up. Nothing…

The memory struck me completely unprepared.

“Marrying the man who murdered your grandfather?” Zyon threw the question into my face two weeks ago, and I felt the blood draining from my face. With Malin in the hospital, Giovanni’s debt, and my father’s shitshow, I’d forgotten to ask Dorian if it was true or if Zyon was only testing me, but thinking about it…

“Did you kill my grandfather?” I asked Dorian without hesitation, clenching my fist so hard my nails dug into my palm.

“Yes,” he replied, raising his eyes from his hands. He was preparing to tell me something else, something from his past he considered important. But his expression changed from deeply sad to curious when I mentioned Giovanni. “I also have a deal with my brothers that when we catch Dino, he’s mine.”

“Why?” I breathed.

“He tried to kill Zyon,” Dorian replied matter-of-factly, raising a brow as if I should already know that. “Orders from Giovanni, remember?”