Page 159 of Fallen Rook

“I–I’m sorry,” I choked out. “For all the mess I created by coming out. And…for losing soldiers, and, you know…” I gripped the nape of my neck, squeezing hard. “For everything, basically.”

Luca’s eyes softened, in a rare flash of humanity. “You idiot, we didn’t care about your sexuality. We cared about what it meant to call off the wedding with the Rasputins.”

“Yeah.” Achilles’s face warped in distaste. “And fuck those soldiers. No one important quit. Only the low-grade dolts we’d eventually have gotten rid of anyway. If anything, you did us a favor.”

“So you’re not…ashamed of me?” I blinked, overwhelmed with emotions. I hadn’t realized how desperately I wanted their acceptance until this moment. I hadn’t even dared to wish for it, I was so scared.

“I mean, I can’t speak for Achilles, but I’m ashamed that you’re dating someone who plays chess at a high school level.” Luca glowered at me accusingly.

I laughed, shaking my head. “He was probably unfocused. Tom’s good at everything.”

“Feel free not to elaborate,” Achilles quipped. “No, but seriously, it is fucked-up that you’d think our issue is—was—or ever will be—with who you love, baby brother.”

“Mafiosi aren’t usually open-minded.”

“You don’t need to be open-minded to accept people for who they are. You just don’t need to be a lifeless piece of shit,” Achilles said incredulously. “I thought I was doing you a favor, you know, that time I fucked Adriana. That if you noticed that you weren’t broken up about it, you’d face your true identity. Wasn’t my best idea.”

“Yeah, no shit.” I snorted, staring at the floor. “But…thanks, I guess.”

Then he did something shocking. He walked over, hooked one arm around my shoulders, and yanked me in a half hug, messing my hair affectionately. “You’re an idiot, but you’re our idiot.”

“Yeah,” Luca said. “We don’t give two shits about what anyone has to say.”

“You’re just saying that because my boyfriend is saving your ass.” I disconnected from Achilles’s embrace, feeling the color high on my cheeks.

Tom wasn’t really my boyfriend anymore, but it still felt good to say it.

“It did help,” Luca conceded.

I threw him a chiding look.

He shook his head, smiling tiredly. “Enzo. If we were having this conversation in Rikers’s backyard, we’d still tell you the same fucking thing. It doesn’t matter how things turned out. Our loyalty and love for you will never be contingent on anything else. You should know that by now.”

I did know that.

I knew that because I felt exactly the same. I loved my family to death, and was willing to do anything for them. No questions asked.

“Group hug?” I lit up.

They both grumbled in annoyance but hugged me anyway.

“All right. Go to fucking work.” He waved us off.

We did.

In between collecting protection money from the millionth person, I squeezed in a thirty-minute workout at the gym. My schedule was a goddamn mess, especially since I’d started seeing Tierney’s therapist, Dr. Andrews. I had to squeeze in half-hour HIIT sessions then do my stretches and abs at home to keep my gains. Inhumane, if you ask me, but I’d been told civilization had survived worse.

After an intense but short workout, I slipped into the locker room, took a quick shower, and examined myself in the mirror in nothing but a small towel. I looked good, despite my flare-up. My hair was wet, my muscles freshly pumped, my body veiny and smooth from the workout. I grabbed my phone on impulse and took a picture of myself showing off my six-pack with a sultry wink. I posted it to my grid with a short but telling caption.

I miss him.

#comingout #loudandproud

#whyarelockerroomlightsosuperior

The dry spell had officially ended.

Switching to my settings next, I turned the commenting option back on.