Page 50 of Uncrowned

A smile surfaced. “Really?”

I headed for the bed, kicking off my shoes and climbing on.

“Really. You might stand a chance… maybe. This is only day one. You have so much further to go if you ever want to get out of here.”

Multiple expressions crossed her face.

“Are you really going to make me kill someone?”

I leaned against the headboard, crossing my arms over my chest.

“No.” Relief flooded her. “I’m going to make you do so much more than that. Killing will be the easy part. To live amongst monsters, you will have to become one. Otherwise, they’ll eat you alive. I can’t have that.”

“Monsters?”

Penelope was half curious, half skeptical.

“I’m not crazy. Get that out of your head. Yes, monsters. Real ones. The scariest ones. Not the ones under your bed.” I tilted her chin up to look at me. “The ones that live next door. The ones that come to your house every week for dinner. The ones who compliment you but dream of sticking a knife in your back. When you see who the world is truly made up of, your mind will break. It won’t be able to fathom that kind of darkness. Introducing you, slowly, is the only way to help you adjust. Even then, it won’t be easy. Why? Because it doesn’t come natural to you. Not yet.”

Her brows drew in. “You’re going to try to make me immune to what I’ll be exposed to.”

“Immune is a strong word. Tolerable is more of what we’re hoping for.”

“What is worse than killing?”

“It’s the form of killing, Penelope. It’s the time. The method. Torture techniques can range. We’ll explore these and the reasons behind them.”

Her breath shuddered.

“What else?”

“One thing at a time. First, we work on defense. We focus on the what-ifs.”

She got quiet. “Like what?”

“What if someone attacks you and you manage to subdue them, but in the process, you’ve been cut. There’s no doctor or hospital and you can only rely on yourself to stop the bleeding. What if you need stitches? Or… maybe I’m hurt, and you’re the only one there to help me. I’m bleeding out and I’m dying.” I took in the fear in her eyes. “How do you save my life? Penelope, there may come a time⁠—”

“Stop.” Her hand lifted, and she reached over, grabbing to my forearm. “Just… I can’t imagine these things. I don’t want to think of you hurt like that.”

I lifted her hand, bringing it to my masked mouth to kiss.

“Let’s hope it never comes to that. But if it does, you can’t hesitate. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it a million more times until you understand. I’m not crazy. Please, trust me. I need you to or else.” I paused, gazing back in forth to her eyes. “I can’t trust anyone. No one but you. I know you don’t understand this but understand when I say, what can it hurt if you save my life?”

Her lips parted and anger flashed as her head shook.

“Me, V. It’ll hurt me. I don’t want you to be hurt or die, but you’re talking about me killing people. Torturing people. How does that save your life?”

“You’re so smart.” I slid closer to her, reaching over to hold to her hip. Damn this mask. It was the barrier keeping me from kissing her and never stopping. “I promise it’s all connected. I need you, Penelope. I need you to trust me.”

She grabbed my hand tossing it from her.

“You speak of trust, but you don’t give me real reasons. You’re not convincing me that you don’t need help. If anything⁠—”

Vibrations had us both looking down to my jean’s pocket. I cursed, pulling out my phone. I took in Redmond’s number letting out an aggravated growl. We were supposed to go over news of The Order, and I’d been delaying it.

“You want my trust?” I wiggled the phone. “Stay quiet and listen. Not a word. Not a single one no matter what you hear.”

She eagerly nodded, staying silent. I hit the speaker, letting out a long breath.